


When Flowers Wither

by angelichoneybun



Category: NCT
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Heavy Angst, M/M, POV Alternating, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship(s), Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-24 07:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelichoneybun/pseuds/angelichoneybun
Summary: The second you are born to the day you die, you are assigned a flower. At the age of eighteen, your assigned flower is set to your soulmate’s doorstep. You must proper take care of it and figure out who the assigned flower belongs to. When your soulmate feels a certain way, the flower will execute that emotion, based on color. However, if you fail to figure out who your soulmate is or end up with the wrong person, your flower begins to wither. When your flower is completely dead, your soulmate is unable to love any longer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first ever AO3 fanfiction! Some warnings before I go into this:
> 
> – This is an angst packed read, so if you're not about that life, then I suggest you exit now.  
> – I will put trigger warnings in the beginning of a chapter, if I need to.  
> – I put these in the tags, but the story will have characters dealing with depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicide, suicidal thoughts, abuse, assault, etc. The trigger warnings will be provided for these things.  
> – This is all fictional!  
> – I hope you enjoy.
> 
> If you have an questions or comments, you can follow my twitter: @pocketjboy :)

**June 6th.**

It was Donghyuck’s birthday, and he was finally turning eighteen. He had waiting so long for this very moment, where he would finally get to know his soulmate’s flower. He spent the weeks anxiously waiting for his birthday, so he could hear the doorbell ring, showing him his destiny. He practically ran home from school as he swung the door wide open.

“Where is it! Where is it!” He shouted.

And then, he saw them. They were placed in a pretty crystal glass in the center of the coffee table. A little card peaked out of them, _for Lee Donghyuck_. He dropped his backpack, slowly approaching the pretty flowers. He collapsed on the floor, gasping at the beauty of them, “Hydrangeas… My soulmate has hydrangeas as their flower.”

The hydrangeas were a soft red and had small petals attached in one big bundle. Donghyuck rested his chin on his hands as he marvelled at the sight of them. He smiled as he touched them, gently. His living room fell silent as he gazed endlessly at the hydrangeas. He sighed, getting up, “Let’s put you in my room, shall we?”

He grabbed his backpack from the ground, carefully balancing the vase in his hands as he made his way upstairs. Lightly kicking his door open, he placed his bag on the floor of the room. He never took his stare away from his hydrangeas. Donghyuck set his flowers on his desk near the window sill, so that the flowers could get as much as sunlight as possible, “You’re so pretty, I bet my soulmate is just as pretty as you are.”

Just then, he heard a loud bang downstairs. His smile faded, hearing his dad and mom enter the house. His heart sunk deep into his stomach as he looked at his soulmate’s flowers, “Sorry. It’s usually like this.” He sadly smiled to his flowers as he reverted his attention to his laptop, “Let’s see what kind of feelings you are feeling… Hydrangeas!”  

 

> _**Red**_ , worried, confused
> 
> _**Pink**_ , emotions and love/romance
> 
> _**Blue**_ , regret
> 
> _**White**_ , innocence
> 
> _**Purple**_ , deeper understanding
> 
> _**Orange,**_ angry
> 
> _**Yellow**_ , joyful, happy

He glanced at his flowers, seeing them flashing a color of red, “Interesting, I wonder what’s worrying you.”

 

* * *

 

Mark stared at his amaryllis, carefully placing a fresh cup of water into the vase. Mark has had his soulmate’s flowers for a year, and not once did he have any idea who they belong to. It was confusing for the boy since he did not talk to many people. Before Mark turned eighteen, he didn’t think that any flowers would arrive at his doorstep, but when a bright white bundle of amaryllis was left on his door, he was taken by surprise. That night, he searched up the meanings of the colors to his soulmates flowers.   

 

> _**Red**_ , love and attraction
> 
> _**Purple**_ , unique and special
> 
> _**White**_ , mourning, tired
> 
> _**Orange**_ , happiness, positive energy
> 
> _**Pink**_ , friendship
> 
> _**Blue,**_ angry
> 
> _**Black**_ , depressed

He spent the last few weeks, watching his soulmate’s amaryllis change colors between a glaring white and a dull black. He thought that it would permanently stay fighting between the two colors, but when the flowers turned a pretty orange today, he wondered what changed in his soulmate’s life. He smiled, knowing that his soulmate was happy at the moment, “I hope you stay orange for a while, I don’t want you to be sad.”

But just as if the flowers heard him, the colors of orange started to change into white again. Mark sighed, holding the flower petals gently, “What’s going on with you? Why do you keep changing?”

When Mark asked his friend, Jeno, about the color change, Jeno suggested it was because his soulmate was going through something. Mark frowned at his flowers, wanting to help his soulmate with what he was going through. He felt his heart aching in his chest when the black turned darker and stayed that way for hours.

“Is there any way I kind find my soulmate faster?” Mark groaned, placing his face in his hands, “It’s worrying me that they’re always staying that color. It’s like my soulmate is not happy.”

Jeno frowned, sighing, “Maybe, your soulmate isn’t happy, Mark.”

"Don't say things like that, Jeno!" 

"I'm sorry, I'm just saying, if it stays a permanent color, it might be that they feel that emotion all the time."

"But my soulmate... feeling depressed, _all the time_?

"You should know that feeling the most."

Mark sighed, "I know, but... I don't want my soulmate to feel that way, and the fact that I can't do anything? It really frustrates me."

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck took one last look at his Hydrangeas, and smiled, "I'll see you later! Hopefully, you won't be red when I come back."

He grabbed his backpack off of the floor, swinging it along his arm. His feet moved swiftly down the stairs as he took an apple from the counter. He placed his hand on the fridge handle, his mouth biting into the apple as he read the note his mom left him. 

_Working late again. Your lunch is in the fridge and dinner is frozen. -Mom_

Donghyuck crumpled the small note and threw it in the trash as he grabbed his lunch bag. Locking the door in back of him, he munched on his apple, thinking about his soulmate's flowers. He didn't know what to expect from them. No one close to him seemed like they emitted a hydrangea kind of feeling. His two best friends, Jisung and Chenle were out of the picture because they were already each other's soulmates. 

"Maybe, it's.. Renjun? I wonder what his flowers are." Donghyuck huffs as he throws the core of his apple away into a trash bin.

Donghyuck sees Jisung and Chenle at the corner of the street, holding hands. He rolls his eyes at them as he runs toward them, "Hey! Lovebirds!" 

Chenle sees Donghyuck's awkward run and smiles, "Hey, Donghyuck! Did you get your flowers?"

Jisung nudges Chenle as he smirks at Donghyuck, "Maybe, we can all go on a double date when you figure out who the flowers belong to."

Donghyuck lets out a loud laugh, slightly falling over, "No, thanks. I see enough of you two already, but yes! I did get them!"

Jisung grins, "So! What kind are they! Tell us about them!"

"Well, they are hydrangeas. When I got them, they were a soft red, and I thought that was a natural color, but apparently, my soulmate is worried about something."

"Hydrangeas, huh? That's interesting... I don't think anyone's ever had a pair of hydrangeas. They are an interesting group."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it has positive qualities like gratitude and honesty, but it's known for showing heartlessness."

"Heartlessness?" Donghyuck paused before saying anything else, "But they were red, so my soulmate was worried about something... They couldn't be that heartless?"

Jisung laughed, "Maybe, he was worried about who their next person to break is."

Chenle pushed Jisung lightly, giving him a frown, "Jisung, be nice."

"No, no. It's okay. I should be cautious about this."

Jisung frowned, "Hyuck, I was just kidding... I'm sure your soulmate isn't heartless. Sometimes, flowers can be wrong."

"When have they ever been wrong, though?"

The three boys entered their high school as Donghyuck sulked beside them. What if his soulmate was a total asshole? It could happen, especially with the amount of people he has left to assign a flower that hasn't already found their soulmate. As Donghyuck open his locker, Jisung and Chenle leaned against the lockers near him. Chenle gave a look to Jisung, indicating that he should say something, "Hyuck, I'm sure your soulmate is just as amazing as you are."

Hyuck laughed, "So, now, you feel bad and are trying to suck up to me?"

Jisung elbowed his friend, "No! I mean it, Hyuck. You're a great person and I'm sure your soulmate is great too; that's what you deserve."

Smiling, Hyuck closed his locker, holding his first period textbook in his hand, "Alright, I get it. Let's just hope the universe gets it too."

Just as Donghyuck and his friends were about to walk to their first period class, Donghyuck's feet froze in place. His eyes were fixed upon his worst enemy, Mark Lee. Ever since elementary school, Mark and Donghyuck have hated each other with a burning passion in their soul. It was first grade, Donghyuck wanted to cut out a gingerbread man for his Christmas card and when he went to the table he took the last one. Mark, being the obnoxious kid he was, went to Donghyuck's desk and took the paper gingerbread man. Donghyuck, hysterically crying, told the teacher about what had happened and made Mark give him his cutout back. The next day, Mark came in class, chewing seven pieces of gum. He made sure to chew it throughly before he went inside. As the teacher was doing roll call, Mark went behind Donghyuck, spit his gum out, and smacked the wad of gum onto Donghyuck's hair. After that moment, Donghyuck and Mark hated each other; Mark, for placing a giant sticky piece of gum into Donghyuck's hair, and Donghyuck, for stealing the gingerbread man from him. 

"Oooh, we should go." Chenle said, seeing the tension between Mark and Donghyuck.

Mark stared at Donghyuck, unable to keep from making a sour expression, "Isn't it Monday? Look what the garbage truck forgot to pick up."

Jeno and Jaemin pushed Mark along, making sure that Donghyuck didn't hear what he had to say, "Unbelievable. Can you believe him?"

Jisung and Chenle looked at each other and back at Donghyuck, "I still don't understand why you guys are so heated. It was in elementary school, over some dumb gingerbread man."

"I would've let it go, okay! But that _brat_ stuck a huge piece of gum in my hair and I had to shave my head. That is disgusting and unforgivable."

Chenle sighed, pulling Donghyuck with him, "Let's go to class before you try something."

 

* * *

 

The lunchroom was loud and crazy. People were always running around and clashing into each other. It was a mess and Donghyuck did not like it, "Do we have to sit here? I hate being in the cafeteria."

"Where else are we going to go? The bathrooms?"

Donghyuck hesitated, "Y-yes."

Jisung and Chenle showed disgust as the pulled Donghyuck to sit down. They placed their trays on the worn out table as Chenle opened his fruit cup. Jisung picked at his carrots and peas, "These are gross."

"Then don't eat them?"

Before Jisung could respond, Donghyuck slammed his hand onto the table, startling the other two boys. His voice was low as he leaned closer to them, "Guys! GUYS! Look, it's Renjun..."

Chenle and Jisung chuckled as they stared at Donghyuck drool over Renjun. Donghyuck has had a crush on Renjun since he first laid eyes on him. It was the first day of middle school, and Renjun was the new kid in the neighborhood. Donghyuck had arrived earlier that day because his mom had to go to work. He sat in his usual spot, waiting for Chenle and Jisung. It was a quarter passed seven when Renjun walked into the classroom, his new uniform crisped and cleaned. Donghyuck felt his heart leap out of his chest as he saw the boy for the first time. Renjun looked lost, but sat right next to Donghyuck. He gave a shy smile to Donghyuck as he extended his hand, "Hi, um, I'm R-Renjun. I'm new here." From then on, Donghyuck knew that Renjun was his soulmate; the way he made him feel, the way he felt the electricity between them, he just _knew_. 

Mark and Jeno sat down, placing their trays next to each other. Jaemin waddle along, sitting in front of them, "So... ?"

Mark looked back at Jaemin, confused, "So?"

"Your soulmate."

"What about them?"  
  
"Any ideas?"

"Uh, no?"

"Ugh, come on, Mark!"  
  
"What! Don't come at me, it's not my fault that my soulmate is hard to comprehend. All I know is that they're always depressed, and from what I've gathered, no one I know or know of is depressed. I mean, they were happy yesterday, but it could've been just a glitch. It turned black again."

"Glitch? Mark, color changes don't have glitches."

"Well, maybe mine does because it doesn't change colors. Only black and white."

Mark started to drink his water, but Donghyuck caught his eye. He started to laugh, "Look at Donghyuck. He looks like a pathetic loser staring at Renjun like that."

Jeno and Jaemin turned, looking at Donghyuck smiling brightly at Renjun, "Why are you so mean to Donghyuck?"

"Why not? He stole my gingerbread man."  
  
"That was in elementary school!" Jeno and Jaemin said in unison.

"And?"

Jeno rolled his eyes as Jaemin groaned, "No wonder you don't have a soulmate, they are probably either terrified of you or you scared them away."

"Pft, whatever. My soulmate has to like me, they are my soulmate." 

"Maybe, you'll end up a wither."

Mark's eyes lowered, fixed on his lunch meat. A wither, huh? Withers were people who's soulmate has them replaced. In rare cases, this can happen if someone else falls in love with your soulmate and vise versa; that would mean that the person's soulmate and their new soulmate would be in love, but the remains of the real soulmates would be gone. In other words, if you end up falling for someone other than your soulmate and the feeling is mutual, the flower starts to wither. If it withers to death, you no longer can feel love again. Mark did not want to be a wither, no one wants to be a wither. His heart clenched at the thought of not feeling love for anyone, not his friends, not his family, not even for another potential person. If he didn't find us soulmate or his soulmate did not find him, it would be the end for the love in his life. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:
> 
> — Mentions of abuse  
> — Mention of parents fighting  
> — Mentions of depression  
> — Panic attacks  
> — Mentions of suicide attempt  
> — SELF HARM

Mark was tired from school, he just wanted to lay down on his bed. As soon as he got home, he lazily dragged his backpack on the ground, opening his bedroom door. Kicking his shoes off, he dropped his bag on the floor and jumped into bed, groaning. He yawned as he looked at his soulmate’s flowers. To his surprise, they were red.

“Red?”

Red to his soulmate meant that he was in love or felt an increase of affection for someone. Mark got up from his bed as he looked at the flowers more carefully. Suddenly, he felt his heart stop inside of his chest. Some of the amaryllis’ petals had fallen onto his desk. He picked up one of the petals as his heart started to pick up pace.

“Shit.”

He hurriedly got his phone out of his pocket and called Jeno, not able to comprehend what was happening, “Hello?” 

“Jeno! I need you and Jaemin to come over!” 

“What? Why? Is everything okay?”

“My soulmate’s flower petals are starting to fall.”

 

* * *

 

As Jeno and Jaemin inspected Mark’s amaryllis, they sighed looking at the long face on their friend, “Well, it looks like your flowers are just telling you that you need to find your soulmate soon, or else, they’ll start to wither even more.”   

“So, they’re not dying yet?”

“Not necessarily since the petals are only coming off slowly.”

“It’s more of a sign then?”

Jaemin nods, “I told you, Mark, you have to find your soulmate.”

“But why is it so difficult?”

“Finding our soulmates are never easy.”

Mark stares at his flowers, seeing them changing from a bold red to a soft white, “There they go again.”

Jeno takes a deep breath, “Why don’t we go out? It’s not good to be cooped up in your room.”

“I’m tired, Jeno. I don’t want to go anywhere.”  
  
Jaemin frowns between his two friends, “Come on, Mark. We’ll get you that drink of yours that you like at that nice cafe.”

Mark stiffly stayed at the edge of his bed, looking at his soulmate’s flowers. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t piece together who his soulmate was even after a year. He wanted to be there for his soulmate, and most of all, he wanted to tell his soulmate it was okay. For a couple of years, Mark has dealt with series of depression. It was when his mom told him that his dad had left them that his life started to crumble at his feet. His mother cried to him that night, explaining that his father had an affair with another woman. Mark clung to his mom and swore that he would never do that to his soulmate when the time came. He wanted to be good to his soulmate. He wanted to prove that he could love, unlike his father.

He then had to face his mom turning into an alcoholic, drinking her life away in endless bottles. When the night got later, she got worse. Her slurred words and hands would grasp onto her son, taking the air out of his chest. After a year, he had to leave her. He couldn’t take the abuse or the trauma that was being placed in his head. Luckily his grandparents had took him in their home, and told Mark that he was safe under their roof. Mark got lonely, his thoughts filled with his father’s absence and his mother’s beating. He stayed in bed for what seemed like hours, ate little, and obsessed with the idea of running away.

One night, he felt like his body was on fire. His head pounded against his skull and his heart was beating so fast, he thought he was dying. The air around him was thin and the pain he felt was unbearable. The thoughts in his head, screamed so loud and so clear.

_You are the reason your father left._  

_A good for nothing child._  

_I hate you._  

He ran the bathtub, making the water flow out. He took a look at himself in the mirror, seeing his eyes darken with sadness, his body thin, and his hair a mess. He wanted to die. He did not want to live anymore. It was too much for him. As he got ready to enter the tub, he heard a soft knock on the door, “Mark?”

“Yeah, grandma?”

“I forgot to tell you, your soulmate’s flowers came in today.”

“My.. flowers?” 

Mark cracked his bathroom door open as he looked at his grandma, “I put them on your desk. They’re really gorgeous.”

She smiled before she left Mark alone again. He shut off the water, before slowly entering his room. He saw the flowers, white and beautiful. His eyes teared up, seeing them carefully placed in a small vase, “You exist. You belong to me.” 

Mark gently caressed his soulmate’s flowers as he started to cry, “Thank you. You saved my life. I promise, until I find you, I won’t give up.”

It was like the universe was giving him a sign to stay. His soulmate, without knowing, had saved Mark’s life. He owned his whole life to them. He wanted to thank them, to hold them in his arms, to make sure they knew they were loved and cared for. He did not want to miss the opportunity to love his soulmate. After seeing the flowers change to black for consecutive weeks, he felt himself losing a part to him as well. He wanted to do the same for his soulmate as they did for him. He couldn’t lose his soulmate, not now, not ever. He was desperate to find his soulmate, but he didn’t even know where to start. Mark was devastated and torn; he felt useless. He just wanted to open his heart to his soulmate, but he couldn’t even understand them.

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck laid in his room, curled into a ball, crying. He heard the shouts of his mother and father again. He hated that every night for the past few weeks they had been at each other’s throats. He wanted to scream too, that he was in pain, that he was suffering, that he wanted to die, but instead, he stayed quiet every time they would ask if he was okay. High school had been harder for him. His grades were falling along with his mood. He wondered what had caused this empty feeling inside of him. He didn’t understand them and he wanted them to stop. No one knew, not even Jisung and Chenle, his two best friends, that Donghyuck had been depressed for almost a year.

He would plaster the same face on every morning, hoping that no one would see through it. He didn’t want anyone to worry about him. He didn’t want the world to see him like this. Donghyuck was known for being the happy sunshine, for his bright smile, and bubbly personality. It was painful for him to admit that he wasn’t like that majority of the time. His true feelings came in a rush. He was sad, lonely, depressed, anxious, and he felt alone. He couldn’t breathe in his own home. He felt like his life was falling so fast. 

It wasn’t always like this. His parents used to be happy, but at the start of Donghyuck’s high school years, they became different. His parents were not the same. He saw his mom tired and worn out. He saw his dad angry and exhausted. They got mad at the little things. One afternoon, his dad threw a plate on the floor, furious at his mother for not paying attention to him while he was talking. 

His father’s voice boomed, “You never listen to me, do you!”

“I do! You are just closing your ears when I talk to you!”

“I don’t even know why I married you.”  
  
“Yeah, me either.”

Donghyuck didn’t know what to say or do. He just wanted them to stop shouting at each other. He wanted the slams of doors to end. He wanted to hate that was boiling to turn into love. But it never did. It continued to the point where they were just strangers living in the same home with an eighteen year old son. Donghyuck stayed up late, hearing them shouting at one another, not able to sleep. He would go to school, tired and exhausted from his parents bickering. It became a routine. Until one day, when Donghyuck got home from school, his mother was in the kitchen, staring at his report card.

“What is this shit?”

He looked at his mom and back at the paper, “Mom… I can explain.”  
  
“Explain what? That you’re not doing enough? I thought you were better than this.” His mother sighed, throwing the piece of paper in the trash, “If you want to fail, fine. Just don’t expect me or your father to pick up after you when you become homeless.”

“Mom-”

“Donghyuck, I’m tired, okay? I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

Donghyuck ran to his room, his tears falling. His mom was being unreasonable. She didn’t even let him explain how much they were ruining his life. He slid behind his door, sobbing into his knees. His heart hurt tremendously and he couldn’t breathe. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to feel in control of something, anything. He got up from the floor and angrily opened his bathroom door, seeing himself in the mirror. His eyes were puffy and red, his nose runny, and his hair a mess. He opened a drawer and saw a razor placed inside. He hesitated before picking it up, his breathing scattered.

He lifted his shirt up, exposing his stomach. He gently placed the sharp edge to his skin, wincing at the pain. He cried, even more, as he bleed slowly. He ran the water, cleaning his razor and the wound he had inflicted on himself. He lowered his shirt, turned off the light of his bathroom, and went on his bed. He cried endlessly into his pillow, not wanting to do anything anymore. After that night, things were not the same in the household. Donghyuck fell into a deeper depression, unable to regain himself again.

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck’s phone had buzzed lightly beside him. His eyes were still puffy from crying. He looked at the time, one am. He saw the blurry name come up on his phone.

_Renjun._

Donghyuck smiled slightly, opening his message. 

> **_Hey, Hyuck! I know it’s late, but I can’t sleep._ **
> 
>  
> 
> _Hi Renjun :) Is everything okay?_
> 
>  
> 
> **_Yeah, everything is okay, I’m just not tired, haha. What are you up to?_ **
> 
>  
> 
> _Just trying to get some rest._
> 
>  
> 
> **_Oh, would you like to talk some other time?_ **
> 
>  
> 
> _No, it’s okay! I can’t sleep either._
> 
>  
> 
> **_Would you like to talk on the phone?_ **
> 
>  
> 
> _Sure. :)_

His phone vibrated as Renjun’s name popped up, he swiftly answered, “Hello?”

“Hey, Hyuck.” He heard Renjun giggle a little bit and smiled.

“Hi, Renjun." 

“How are you?”

Donghyuck hesitated before answering, “I’m… okay. How are you?”

“I’m good, just a little stressed out.”

“From what?”

“The soulmate thing.”

Donghyuck’s eyes went from the center of his ceiling to his soulmate’s flowers, he saw them still a bright red, “Soulmates, huh?”

“You got your flowers, right? Your birthday was a few days ago.”

 “Yeah, I did. They’re really nice. I like them a lot.”  
  
“Tell me about them.”

“Well, they’re hydrangeas, but they’re… a color red. My soulmate is worried about something. They’ve been worried about something for a while actually.”

“Hydrangeas…” Renjun’s voice was low, “That’s interesting.”

“Yeah, Jisung and Chenle were telling me that too.”

“No, I mean, my flower assigned to me at birth was Hydrangeas.”

Donghyuck felt his heart stuck in his throat, “R-really?”

“Yeah,” Renjun chuckled lightly, “Funny, huh? And they’re red, and I’m worrying about soulmates right now.”

Donghyuck, a nervous mess, replied, “What kind of flowers does your soulmate have?”

“Amaryllis.”

Smiling, Donghyuck let out a happy sigh, “I think… I found my soulmate.”


	3. Chapter 3

Mark woke up the next morning, groggy from the late night thoughts he had. He gently rubbed his eyes as he stretched his arms out. Turning over to his side, he wanted to see how his soulmate’s flowers were doing. Maybe, today, it would be a better color.

**_Oh no._ **

Mark jumped out of bed, falling over, seeing the condition his amaryllis were in. The once beautiful bouquet of flowers were now a gloomy red that lopsided over. He scowled at them, taking a closer look at their condition. One of the four bunches had completely lost its youth; the amaryllis redness scattered on the floor of his room. Mark’s heart clenched, knowing each moment that passed, his soulmate was getting farther and farther away from him. Angry and upset, he grabbed the vase, throwing it against the wall. 

He screamed, his eyes brimming with warm tears, “Why do you keep doing this! Stop!”

Realizing what he did, he carefully picked up the flowers, sobbing. He laid them across his desk, lowering his vision to this broken glass pieces. He sat next to the broken crystals on the ground, attempting to pick them up. When his hand touched the pieces, he accidentally cut his hand. He flinched as the glass cut his palm, “Are you serious?”

He placed the broken glass into the trash bin, opening a cabinet to his bandages. He went in his bathroom and ran the faucet, placing his hand underneath the coolness. He lightly dabbed his wound with a moist towel. He ripped open the corner of the package with his teeth, and carefully unwrapped the gauze. He applied some ointment before binding the cloth onto his skin. He tugged at the ends, making sure it wouldn’t fall off. He sighed, staring at the three flowers that were left, “I guess I should go buy you a new vase, huh?” 

He grabbed his wallet and pulled a sweater over him. Slipping his shoes on, he made his way to the nearest market. As he left his home, his heart felt empty. Was his soulmate falling for someone else? Did his soulmate even know about him? He sighed out into the cold air, seeing his breath come out like a puff of smoke. On his way to the market, he saw a new coffee shop opening. He felt his body gravitate to the cozy looking cafe. He popped his head inside, seeing that it was quiet. He walked inside, smelling the aroma of coffee beans roasting. 

Looking around, he saw the wooden tables and mason jars with flowers in them, the small light hanging on a string above the sides of tables. The place was decorated with blackboards and chalk was written on the walls. He saw the menu, seeing they had warm/cold drinks, pastries, and snacks of all kinds. His gaze was fixed upon the pastries, seeing them displayed in behind glass. He smiled at them, honoring their display of goodness. As he considered what he should get, a tall, attractive man came out of the kitchen, “Oh hello, I didn’t notice you come in.”

Mark looked up at the boy, noticing his captivating smile.  _ Wow _ . Mark blinked at the other boy, suddenly forgetting the sense of his words. The boy had light brown hair that dangled in his dark eyes, a soft look on his face. He was wearing a white shirt and black slacks with a blue apron on. He smiled from ear to ear, showing his perfect teeth and his plump lips, “My family just opened this little cafe, we just moved here actually, haha. I’m Yukhei, but most people call me Lucas.” 

Mark swallowed hard as he broke through his thoughts, “Oh, uh, nice to meet you, Yukhei- I mean, Lucas. I’m Mark. I actually live close by. I saw that the door was open and yeah… Um, it’s really nice. The place. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of customers when word gets around.”

As Lucas let out a laugh, Mark felt his heart stop, “Nice to meet you, Mark. Thank you for the kind words about the cafe, I’m sure my parents would love to hear that. I hope that now you know about it, you’ll visit often.”

Mark smiled shyly, nodding, “Definitely.”

Lucas twisted a towel in his hands, “Well, you should try something! It’s on the house since you’re our first customer! I recommend the roasted vanilla brew coffee, it’s perfect for this weather and it’s my mom’s speciality.”

Mark let out a stifled laugh, “Oh, well… sure. I’ll try it.”

Lucas gave Mark another smile, “Take a seat and I’ll bring it to you.”

Mark sat down at the corner of the cafe, breathing heavily. His mind and his heart were racing; he didn’t know what to expect. He felt his hands sweat under the gauze and lightly pressed them against his jeans. He looked at his outfit, regretting how disoriented he looked. He wished he would have worn something nicer. Just as Mark mentally beat himself for looking like a bum, Lucas came over with a small dish and a large coffee cup placed in the middle, “Here you go!”

Mark thankfully retrieved the small plate, pulling it closer to him. Lucas cleared his throat, “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all!”

Mark engulfed both of his hands on the cup, blowing carefully and placing his lips against the brim of the warmness. He let the coffee fill his soul, heart, and mind. He felt the warmness of the drink through his body and smiled. Just what he needed after a long week, “This is really good, Lucas. Your mom makes incredible coffee. It’s not too sweet or too bitter.”

Lucas smiled gracefully as he chuckled, “Thank you. I’ll tell my mom your kind words,” He saw Mark’s gauze and frowned, “Is your hand okay?”

Mark stared at his wounded hand, forgetting the purpose of going outside in the first place, “Oh… yeah, it was just a little accident.”

“You sure? It looks like it’s serious.”

Mark shook his head, taking another sip of the coffee, “I just dropped my vase at home and it ended up cutting me.”

“Vase? For your flowers.”

Mark fiddled with his cup as he eyed the soft brown of the coffee, twirling in front of him, “Yeah. My flowers.” 

“Your soulmate’s flowers?”

He slightly quivered with chills at the word “soulmate”, “Yes.”

Lucas saw the discomfort in the other boy’s face, “Soulmates are… difficult.”

Mark let out a laugh, “You’re telling me.”

“I still haven’t found mine… It’s been a whole year.”

Mark’s voice softened, barely audible, “You too?”

“You mean.. you haven’t found your soulmate, either?”   
  
Mark shook his head, looking at Lucas properly in the eyes for the first time, “It’s been so challenging. My soulmate’s flowers are always staying a permanent color and it’s frustrating.”

“I know what you mean,” Before Lucas could say another word, his mom came out from the kitchen, seeing Lucas sitting with another boy, “Oh hello! Lucas! You should have told me there was a customer!”

Lucas playfully rolled his eyes, “I didn’t want you to scare them away with your enthusiasm.” 

Lucas’ mom walked happily to the table Mark was sitting at as she gave him a smile that resonated with her son’s, “Hello there, I’m Lucas’ mother,  Mayuree, but you can call me, May.” 

Mark beamed, “It’s a pleasure to meet you! Your coffee is one of the best drinks I’ve tasted in a while.”

May gushed at Mark’s comment, “Oh dear, you don’t have to be so sweet, but thank you for your kind words! I’m so glad you enjoy it!” 

Another person came strolling in and May flashed a smile to Mark and to her new guest, “Stay as long as you’d like! I have to go now, but it was really nice meeting you!”

Mark gave her a reassuring expression as he finished his coffee, “I better get going, Lucas. I still have to get another vase for my flowers.”

Lucas took the cup and the small plate into his hands as he nodded, “Okay, Mark. Just make sure to come back.”

Mark laughed softly as he sighed, “Of course I’m coming back, that coffee is to die for.”

Lucas grinned as he waved at Mark, “I’ll see you around.”

As Mark walked back into the cold, he smirked at himself, feeling a fondness he hasn’t felt before. His heart wanted to leap out of his chest, seeing someone so delicate and so kind as Lucas. He placed his hands in the pocket of his sweater, connecting his fingers together. He felt content. He felt okay. He felt like the world wasn’t going to fall apart.

**_Was this how your soulmate was supposed to make you feel?_ **

 

* * *

Donghyuck woke up at half past twelve. He had a long night of talking to Renjun and felt his heart was finally happy. He turned to see his flowers a pastel pink. For his soulmate, that meant they were feeling love. Donghyuck giggled, knowing that it was Renjun’s emotions for him. As he went to the bathroom to fix himself up, he noticed some petals on the floor. Confused, he approached the hydrangeas looking at the looseness of them. He picked up one of the petals off of the ground and looked at it, “Why are you falling? You’re not supposed to be.” 

Donghyuck placed the petals on his desk as he shook his head. It must be a default, maybe he needed to change the water. He grabbed the vase, carefully taking it into his bathroom. He placed the flowers on the side of his sink, making sure they didn’t topple over. He dumped the old water into the drain as he ran a fresh new set inside. He smiled at his hydrangeas, placing them into the new water, “There you go. No more falling out, okay?” 

He placed the vase in the same place and pulled his phone out.

> _ Let’s hang out today! I have good news! _
> 
>  
> 
> **_Good news, huh? Okay, Jisung and I meet you at the park in 15._ **

Donghyuck threw his phone on his bed before changing into his outfit. He wore dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. He traced his hands across his closet, picking a random jacket to wear. He pulled his socks from the drawer and swiftly put them on. Racing to the door, he slipped his shoes on, swinging the front door open. He walked to the nearby park, smiling ear to ear. He couldn’t erase the smile on his face.

He sat on a wooden bench as he waited for Chenle and Jisung to arrive. He watched the cherry blossoms fall off of the branches. One by one, they gently made there way onto the ground. He remembered his own flowers and how they were also falling, but he shook the idea out of his mind, knowing that it was just the musky water in the vase. Swinging his legs back and forth, he finally saw Chenle and Jisung. They wore matching sweaters and sweats as Donghyuck laughed mentally at them. Both of them waved at him, smiling brightly, “Hey, Hyuck! How’s our favorite thirdwheel?”   
  
Donghyuck sarcastically laughed, pressing his lips together, “Oh shut up! I’m actually doing great!”   
  
Jisung sat down next to Donghyuck, placing his hand on the back of the bench, “Really? Did something happen?”

The boy proudly nodded, folding his hands together, “I found my soulmate.”   
  
Both of the boys gasped in unison, “Really! So fast!?” 

Donghyuck couldn’t hold in his eagerness, “It’s Renjun! Renjun is my soulmate!”

Jisung and Chenle look at each other, Chenle’s eyebrow raising, “Renjun? Your soulmate is Renjun?”

“Yeah! Can you believe it! I didn’t think that it was possible but-”

“Wait, Hyuck, how do you know he’s your soulmate?”

“Well, he told me about his assign flowers, which were hydrangeas, and he said the flowers he had were amaryllis. And the way I feel when I see him and when I’m with him, it just makes sense!”

Jisung tilted his head, “Mm, did anything strange happen to your flowers?”

“My flowers?”

“Yeah, like did they change color or did the petals fall?”

“Um, yeah, they changed to red, which means that my soulmate is in love… but some of the petals were falling off.” 

“Some of the petals-”

Chenle was interrupted by Donghyuck’s phone ringing. He pulled the phone out of his pocket, seeing Renjun’s name appear. He grinned and answered the call, “Hey, Renjun. What’s up?”

Jisung stared at Donghyuck as he talked to Renjun. Chenle sat next to his soulmate, leaning over, “Don’t you think it’s weird that Donghyuck’s soulmate is Renjun.”

Jisung nodded, “Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. I don’t really understand it.”

Donghyuck hung up and turned to his two friends, “Renjun wants to meet me for lunch. Is it okay if we cut our hangout short?”

Jisung and Chenle saw their friend’s ray of happiness and couldn’t deny how happy it made them that Donghyuck was smiling so brightly, “Yeah, sure, go ahead. Have fun.”

“Thanks guys! I love you!” 

With that Donghyuck got up, dusting some dirt off of his jeans. He softly grinned before taking off in another direction. Jisung and Chenle leaned back, sighing into the air around them. They had no idea what was going on. 

“I guess we should… be happy for Hyuck, right?” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I would just like to say thank you for all the feedback and to those who have read and continue to read my story! It means a lot getting hits, comments, kudos, and bookmarks on my work. So many many many thanks and much love! <3
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> – minor mention of blood

Renjun waited outside Donghyuck’s house, tip toeing around his fence. They agreed that they would start walking to school together so they could see each other a little bit more before they departed for their first period class. As Donghyuck opened his front door, he smirked at Renjun, “I see that you keep your promises.”

“Only for you.”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, pushing the metal gate, joining Renjun, “I missed you.”

“You literally just saw me yesterday, Renjun.”

Renjun placed his hand on the younger boy’s head, messing his hair, “Yeah, so?”

Donghyuck blushed a light pink as he started to walk, “Shut up.”

“Aw, I made you blush!”

Renjun laughed as he carefully interlaced his hands into Donghyuck’s, “You know, I’m really glad we are soulmates.” 

“Me too.”

 

* * *

Mark woke up in a terrible mood. His heart felt like it was ripping itself apart and he felt the urge to throw his flowers out. He stared at them, feeling the amaryllis mocking him. They bore into his soul a red that was as dark as blood, reaching the ground. It was like each day that he passed, he was being taunted by his soulmate’s flowers. They scream that his soulmate was falling in love with someone else and that he couldn’t do a single thing anything about it. 

He lazily opened his backpack, placing his books inside. He slid his arms through the straps of his backpack and opened his bedroom door. The walk to school was a long one, and he hated that he had to be alone. He saw the little cafe that Lucas worked in and felt his heart flip. He smiled and wondered how Lucas was doing. 

After a few blocks, Mark raced up the steps, skipping two by two, entering the place he dreaded. He saw Jeno and Jaemin at the entrance and waved, “Hey, guys.”   
  
“Whoa, Mark. You look like shit.”

Mark side eyed Jaemin for his comment, “Yeah, thanks. I know.”

“Did something happen?” 

“Why would you think something happened?”

“Well, you look like you haven’t slept and you have gauze around your hand.”

They arrived at his locker, as he placed his books inside, “Oh this?” He raised his hand and waved it, “I got mad at my soulmate so I threw the vase at the wall.”

“You got mad at your soulmate?”

“Yeah, they keep on falling in love with someone that isn’t  _ me _ . And it’s making a mess in my room. I got fed up and threw the vase. I wanted to clean up the mess and then, I accidentally cut myself.”

“It was an accident, right?”

Mark stared at Jeno, “Yes, Jeno. It was an accident.”

“I’m just making sure, Mark. I.. don’t want anything to happen.. Not like-”   
  
“I get it.” Mark’s voice was harsh as he slammed his locker shut.

Mark ran his hand across his face as he clung to his backpack. Before he could even walk, he saw Donghyuck.  _ Ugh _ . Donghyuck had the brightest smile on his face and laughed loudly in the hallway. Mark envied Donghyuck for being so happy and so full of life. His heart hurt when he saw his enemy so cheerful, while he was trying to fight off these sad emotions. And when he thought things couldn’t get worse, he noticed that Renjun was holding hands with Donghyuck. 

“Wait.” 

Jaemin and Jeno looked at Mark, confused, “What?”

“ **_That_ ** . When did  _ that _ happen?”

Jeno and Jaemin looked in the direction of Mark’s eyes. They saw Renjun and Donghyuck fairly close to each other, hand in hand, “Oh, shit. Are Renjun and Donghyuck… soulmates?”

Mark’s blood boiled. He already hated Donghyuck, but in that moment, he despised him even more for finding his soulmate in less than a week, while he was suffering for over a year, “Seriously! This is unbelievable! I cannot believe that inconsiderate child got a soulmate in less than a week while I’ve been desperate to find mine!” 

Jeno looked at Mark and his tired face, “Mark, come on… It’s okay. Your soulmate is probably just somewhere around here.”

Mark exploded with rage, “No! No! I am tired of this soulmate bullshit! If my soulmate doesn’t want anything to do with me then fine! Let me be a goddamn wither!” 

Jaemin looked at Jeno and back at Mark, “Mark, don’t say things like that. You deserve to be loved and give love. Your soulmate is  _ your _ soulmate.”

“Well apparently, they aren’t. They’re falling for someone else and they’re letting me suffer. Whoever my soulmate is, I hope they  _ rot _ .”

Mark started to angrily walk to his first period class as Jeno and Jaemin followed him, “Mark, come on, you’re just mad. It’s okay.” 

As Jeno tried to place his hand on Mark’s shoulder, he retracted himself, facing them, “No, Jeno! It’s not okay! It will never be okay! Just leave me alone!”

Jeno stood in the middle of the hallway with Jaemin, frowning. His heart hurt for his friend, unable to do anything to help. Jaemin tugged at Jeno’s arm and sighed, “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t take it personal. Mark is just going through a lot.”

Jeno nodded as he looked at Mark, “I just hope this soulmate of his understands what’s at stake for their actual soulmate.”

 

* * *

 

Mark threw his book on his desk, still distressed about the recent events that had occurred. What was worse was that Mark and Donghyuck had the same first period class. Mark dreaded the fact that he had to be in the same room with Donghyuck, hear his irritating voice, and see that smile that never came off of his face. He groaned as Donghyuck walked in with Chenle and Jisung. Seeing Donghyuck happy made Mark agitated. 

“Gosh, I can’t believe Renjun and I are actually soulmates. I mean I’ve practically been in love with him since middle school.”

As Mark heard Donghyuck, he mentally gagged at his words. Jisung chimed in, “You guys are actually really cute together… It’s nice seeing you with someone.”

Mark gritted his teeth as he placed his hands in his head. Chenle chuckled, “You’re really lucky to have found your soulmate so quick.”

Mark was tired. Mark was upset. Mark couldn’t take it anymore. His angry held him by his head. He slammed his fist on the table of his desk and shouted, “Would you be quiet!” 

The classroom murmurs fell silent as they all stared at Mark. He raised his voice, “No one cares about your damn soulmate! So just shut the fuck up already!” 

Donghyuck’s gaze was now upon his worst enemy. He felt confused and hurt that Mark hated him so much that he would bash on his happiness. Chenle and Jisung looked between Mark and Donghyuck, seeing that the tension between them was uncomfortable and raging. Before Donghyuck could say anything, Mark spoke up, “You and your  _ perfect _ life. You think because you’re always smiling and happy that you can just prance around like the rest of us don’t suffer? Fuck you, Donghyuck. Some of us cry ourselves to sleep at night, not everyone is as happy as you are. If you just be quiet, maybe you’d fucking understand.” 

Mark stood up and pushed his chair out behind him. He left his stuff as he messily went into the restroom, unable to breathe. He felt his chest tighten and his vision go blurry. His head hurt and his heart ached. He wanted everything to stop. He felt the same way he did when his mother began to beat him. The anger in him was overpowering him and he felt helpless. He sobbed into the sink and smashed his fists into the sink, turning them red. 

**_I fucking hate Lee Donghyuck with every fiber in my body._ **

 

* * *

Donghyuck stood in his first period class in disbelief. He stared at the spot that Mark had erupted with rage. He wanted to scream at Mark. He wanted to punch and beat him for the hurtful things he said. He wanted to yell at him for thinking that he was always happy. He wanted to cry. But he just stood there, letting Mark’s words take away the only last bit of happiness he had felt. Mark had no right, absolutely no right to say what he had said. If Mark knew Donghyuck, he’d know that he cried himself to sleep every night, that the smile that was always on his face was a facade, that he was suffering too. 

Chenle and Jisung worriedly looked at their friend, “Hey, Donghyuck.. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the restroom or something?”

Donghyuck shook his head, his eyes still fixed on the same place. He finally took his seat, the happiness drained out of him. He no longer smiled and stared at a spot in the wall, dreading his existence. He heard everyone in the room, softly whispering about what had happened. It made things worse for Donghyuck and he wanted the mumbling to stop. He decided to get up to use the restroom. As he walked, his legs felt weak and his heart felt broken. He knew that Mark didn’t like him, but to say those things? It was uncalled for.

He pushed the door open, seeing Mark’s body hung over the sink. Donghyuck stared at him, his heart pounding out of rage. Mark finally looked up and saw Donghyuck. The other boy stared at him. Mark had tears streaming down his face and bloody knuckles. Donghyuck’s anger turned into concern, “Mark, your hand… It’s-”

“Shut up, Donghyuck.” 

Donghyuck stared at Mark and his bloody hand, “You need to get that checked.”

“I don’t care.”

“Mark.”

“Donghyuck, don’t act like you care! Don’t act like you know!”

Donghyuck bit his tongue to refrain from saying anything. He just kept staring at Mark. He sighed, tears finally falling from his eyes. Mark turned to the boy and sees him, tears flooding, “Seriously? You want to cry, right now? What are you?”

“I’m human, Mark. Just like you.” Donghyuck wiped his tears with his sleeve as he sniffed, “I never knew you were this  _ heartless _ .”

 

* * *

The lunchroom was crowded as usual, but felt different. Word got around about Mark’s outburst in first period, so everyone was looking at him and Donghyuck funny, “I wish everyone would stop staring.”

Donghyuck’s head lowered as Renjun took his hand. He whispered into his ear, “It’s okay, baby. I’m right here with you.” 

Donghyuck thankfully smiled at Renjun, squeezing his hand gently. Renjun placed his tray by Donghyuck as Chenle and Jisung joined them, “Are you sure you’re okay, Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck nodded at Chenle, “Yeah. It was just a dumb fight.”

“Dumb? Uh, Mark said things that was uncalled for and he didn’t even apologize.”

“Well,” Donghyuck sighed, glancing at Jisung, “I don’t expect much from Mark.”

When Donghyuck said Mark’s name, he, Jeno, and Jaemin had settled themselves at the corner of the lunchroom, trying to dodge everyone’s stares, “I can’t believe you, Mark. Why would you do that?”

Mark glared at Jeno, “If you want to join their little group over there, then do it. I don’t really give a shit.”

Jaemin sighed, “Why are you acting like this?”

“What do you mean why? You know why.”   


“I mean, your flowers haven’t even wilted completely and you seem different.”

Mark laughed, “Huh, maybe once they start to wither, I become angrier, until I can’t love anymore.”

Jeno frowned, “You can’t just give up on your soulmate.”

Mark put his fruit cup down as he stared at Jeno, “My soulmate already gave up on me.”

“And that gives you the right to be mad at everyone else?” Jaemin spat, “Look, Mark, I understand you’re upset, but what you said to Donghyuck… it was really messed up.”

“I just said the truth.”

“You don’t know what goes on in his life, Mark. You can’t just assume.”

“Look, Jaemin, if I wanted to be lectured, then I would’ve sat at any other table. Just drop it.”

“But-”

“I said  **_drop it_ ** .”

Jaemin defeatedly got up from the table and grabbed his tray, “When you’re done being an asshole, I’ll talk to you again.”

Jeno watched as Jaemin walked away, looking at Mark, “Mark…”

“What, Jeno? I really don’t want to hear it.”

“Do you really want to lose everyone?”

“I already have.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

“Feel better, okay?” Renjun kissed Donghyuck’s forehead softly.

“Mhm. I’ll talk to you later.”

When Donghyuck arrived home, he was exhausted from the long day at school. Luckily for him, his parents weren’t home, so he got to breathe for a while. As he entered his bedroom, he kicked his shoes off and tossed his backpack on the floor. He yawned as he went to go check on his flowers. The hydrangeas were a bold orange. Orange? Donghyuck got his notepad where he wrote all the colors of his soulmate’s flowers and emotions.

_Angry? Renjun didn’t seem angry today?_

He pulled out his phone, texting Renjun.

 

> _Hey Jun?_
> 
> **_Hey, Hyuck. You okay?_ **
> 
> _Yeah, it’s just… your flowers are orange._
> 
> **_Orange?_ **
> 
> _Yeah, it means you’re angry? You didn’t seem angry today?_
> 
> **_Oh, right! I was angry because of what happened with Mark. He didn’t need to say those things to you. I just didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to worry you. I’m sorry. :(_ **
> 
> _It’s okay, Jun! I was just wondering. I hope you don’t stay angry anymore. I’m okay now. :)_

 

* * *

 

Lucas was late for school, it was officially his first day and he was already messing up. He ran to his classroom, almost toppling over. Swinging the door open, all eyes were on him, “Uh, hi. I’m Yukhei? The new student.”

The teacher, slim and structured, looked at Lucas and smiled, “Ah yes, Yukhei. Welcome. Take a seat.”

He gratefully smiled at his professor, looking around at the seats. His head tilted, seeing a familiar face at the back of the room. He made his way, sitting next to his neighborhood friend. He whispered, “Hi Mark. Pleasure to see you here."

Mark smiled, his eyes reverting from the board to his attractive seatmate. He whispered back, “Lucas! You go here? I didn’t know.”

“It’s my first day. I’m glad I see a familiar face.”

 

* * *

 

When the bell rang, Mark placed his books into his bag as Lucas packed his things, “It’s so great to see you here.”

Mark chuckled nervously, “Ha, well, you’re probably the only one who thinks so."

Lucas’ face turned into a confused expression, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mark sighed, looking around, “I had a little outburst yesterday, and now, people really don’t like me.”

“Did you say something rude?”

“Yeah, I said some pretty messed up things.”

“Mm, why don’t you apologize then?”

Mark’s eyes lowered to the floor, “I don’t think I can, I’m still upset."

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Mm…” Mark hesitated.

“We can go to my cafe after school and talk there, if you want.”

Mark smiled, remembering May’s coffee, “Count me in.”

 

* * *

 

Lucas and Mark walked to the small coffee shop after school. Mark was relieved that he had a new, friendly face to associate with since everyone else seemed to be upset or think lowly of him, “Go get a table, I’ll make the coffee.”

Mark nodded as he picked the same place he sat in the first time he met Lucas. The cafe was not busy, but they still had some customers scattered around the small shop. Mark folded his hands on the table and he reclined back. He sighed, feeling lost and broken. When he went home yesterday, his amaryllis were black. He wanted to shove the flowers in the trash can, but he didn’t have the heart to do so. He let them stay in the same place as they were, trying to not let them affect him.

 _They were going to die soon anyway._ _  
_ Lucas came back with tray in his hands. A warm cup for him and his friend and some pastries. He placed the cup near Mark as he set the plate of chocolate croissants beside them, “I’m not sure if you like chocolate, but they pair great with my mom’s coffee. Plus, I like to eat them when I’m feeling a little bit down.”

Mark smiled, taking a sip of his coffee, “No, it’s fine. Thank you for these.”

“So, tell me, what’s been going on?”

Mark took a deep sigh, before setting his cup on the table, “It’s all this soulmate stuff, it’s driving me crazy, to the point, where I don’t even feel like I have a grasp of myself anymore.”

Lucas takes a bite out of the warm croissant, listening to Mark. He lightly wipes his mouth, looking at the other boy, “What do you mean you don’t feel like you don’t have a grasp of yourself anymore?”

“I just… I got mad at my friends for trying to help me… and I said some pretty mean things to… someone yesterday.”

“Do you mind me asking who?”

“His name is Donghyuck. He’s…” Mark’s voice lowered, “my worst enemy.”

“Worst enemy, huh? What did you say to him?”

“... Well, I just exploded in his face because I was upset he got a soulmate before me.”  
  
Lucas tilted his head to the side, taking his cup in his hands, “Why were you upset over that?”

“Because he’s only had his flowers for less than a week, and I’ve had my soulmate’s flowers for more than a year, and for him to not struggle finding his soulmate while I suffer trying to find mine? It’s just… unfair. I got upset at him for not having any problems in his life.”

“Have you talked to Donghyuck about it?”

“About what?”

“His life.”

“No…”

“So, you’re just assuming he has a good life?”

Mark let out a sigh, frustrated, “Are you trying to defend him?”

“No, Mark.” Lucas let out a small laugh, “I’m trying to make sense of things. Look, I haven’t found my soulmate and it’s been over a year for me as well. I know how difficult it is and how shaken up you’re feeling, but it doesn’t mean you can hold Donghyuck accountable, you know?"

Mark nods, uneasy on the subject of Donghyuck, “He just seems to get everything he wants in life.”

Lucas smiles, sipping his coffee, “You know, maybe Donghyuck isn’t as happy as you think.”

Mark pulls apart the croissant, popping a piece into his mouth, “What? How is that possible when he’s smiling and happy all the time? He has the _perfect_ life.”

“When’s the last time you actually talked to Donghyuck? Like actually sat down, just as we are and have a proper conversation.”

“Um… never?”

“My point exactly.” Lucas leaned in, making sure to look into Mark’s eyes, “You should talk to him. It will make you feel much better.”

Mark stared at his coffee as he changed the subject, “Do you know who your soulmate could be?”

“I have an idea, but I might be wrong…”

Mark raised his eyebrows, looking at the other boy, “Really? After a year you figured it out?”

He chuckled lightly, “Yeah, well, they just appeared.”

Mark frowned, “I wish my soulmate could just appear.”

“Hey, your soulmate might be closer than you think.”

 

* * *

 

It was a little past eight when Donghyuck woke up from his nap. Stretching his arms out, he reached for his phone. He rubbed his eyes as he stared at the message on his phone.

**_Can we meet up?_ **

His throat was dry as he read back the message from his enemy. He blinked, unable to comprehend why Mark wanted to meet.

_Why?_

His hands shook, typing out the three letter word. His phone chimed, lighting up another message.

**_I want to apologize for yesterday._ **

Donghyuck sighed, before sending a text.

_Okay, I’ll meet you at the central park in 10._

Donghyuck got up from his bed, seeing that his flowers had changed color. From the orange he had seen before, the hydrangeas had turned a soft blue. His mind retraced his colors and remembered that blue meant regret. He stared at the flowers, noticing how weak they looked. He questioned whether he should text Renjun, but he didn’t want Mark to think that he was standing him up. He mentally told himself that once he got back from the park, he’d ask Renjun about it.

He went to his closet to grab a sweater, when he suddenly felt his stomach churn. He heard a loud bang from downstairs followed by screaming. His parents were fighting again. He closed his eyes, trying to push out their shouts, but he felt himself feel small. As he slipped his shoes, he made his way downstairs to see the living room torn apart. The pillows of the couch were on the floor, the crystal vases were broken, the furniture was messed up. He approached the front door as his parents screamed from the top of their lungs. The whole house got silent as Donghyuck approached the door.

“Where are you going?” His father stood at the entrance of the kitchen, staring at his son.

“To the park."

“Do you know what time it is?”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

Donghyuck turned to his father, a scowl spread on his face, “Don’t pretend you care.”

“You can’t talk to your father like that.”

“Well, you should check the way you talk to your wife before you start lecturing me.”

His father approached him, snatch his arm, “You have no right to say that!”

His father’s hands clawed at his son’s arm, leaving marks. Donghyuck stared at his dad and back at his arm. His father’s expression softened, seeing what he had done, “Donghyuck, I’m sorry, I-”

But before his father could finish, Donghyuck swung the front door open, not looking back. His heart was pounding out of his chest as he felt the air around him grow thin. His legs moved fast and his brain was scattered. He saw a bench nearby and sat, trying to compose himself. He began to cry, his whole body giving up. He wanted to smash his fists into something. He wanted to scream so loud. He felt weak. He didn’t understand his parents. He didn’t want to go home.

“Donghyuck?” Teary eyed, Donghyuck looks up to see Mark in a large sweatshirt with a pair of faded jeans, “What… Why are you crying?”

Donghyuck broke hearing Mark say those words. Through sobs, he wailed, “I hate my life.”

 

* * *

 

Mark sat in his room, staring at his phone. He remembered Lucas explaining that Mark shouldn’t hold anything against Donghyuck. Mark, still feeling uneasy and angry, felt a slight sadness. He knew he shouldn’t have done that to Donghyuck, even if he was his enemy. In a way, Mark cared for Donghyuck and Mark knew that Donghyuck cared for him. It was a weird, strange dynamic that they had. Their blood would boil at the sight of each other, but if anything ever happened to one of them, they’d be there for the other.

_Can we meet up?_

Mark sent the text, knowing that Donghyuck would probably say no. He didn’t blame him.

**_Why?_ **

Mark chuckled, laughing at Donghyuck.

_I want to apologize for yesterday._

A second later, his phone lit up.

**_Okay, I’ll meet you at central park in 10._ **

Mark sighed in relief as he got up. He glanced at his flowers, seeing them in a dark and sad state. He tried to push the thought in the back of his head as he opened his bedroom door, “Grandma! I’m going out for a bit! I’ll be back home soon!”

Mark closed the front door behind him, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He strolled to the park, staring at the trees around him. A few blocks later, he saw someone on a bench, hunched over. Taking a closer look, he automatically knew that brown hair. _Donghyuck._ He had wondered why he was sitting at the bench.

“Donghyuck?”

To Mark surprise, Donghyuck looked up, his cheeks stained with tears. He felt a piece of himself break, seeing the usual happy Donghyuck broken, “What… Why are you crying?”

Donghyuck looked down, avoiding eye contact with Mark, breaking down, “I hate my life.”

Mark felt like it was harder to swallow hearing the words come out of the younger boy’s mouth. He saw Donghyuck arm, red and blotchy, and worried what had happened before he had came here. For the first time, in a while, Mark didn’t feel his anger or resentment for Donghyuck, he felt concerned. He sat down next to him, “Hyuck, talk to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it's short, I'm sorry. I just wanted to make Mark and Hyuck's talk a chapter of its own. I hope you all look forward to the next few updates because it's going to get really spicy, lmao. But again, thank you for all the love on my story! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> — mention of self harm

Donghyuck wiped his tears away, drying his damp hands on his jeans. Mark quietly sat near Donghyuck, taking in every word he was saying, “I don’t know how or why it started, but my family just started to fall apart around high school. I began as small arguments, nothing too big. They would make up after, but then, they started progressively getting worse. They would burst out at each other over little things and start throwing things. Every night, it’s a new argument. Next thing I knew, they were attacking me for everything. Everything is not enough for them. My grades. My life. My friends. I got so sad, so… depressed.” His voice broke, “And today, when I wanted to go out to the park, my dad… He stopped me. I talked back, and he wasn’t happy. And then…” 

“And then that happened.” Mark stared at Donghyuck’s arm, seeing the redness still bright against his skin, “Your dad hurt you.” 

“He didn’t mean it.” 

“No, Hyuck. It doesn’t fucking matter. Your dad shouldn’t have touched you.” 

Donghyuck looked up at Mark, surprised at his language, “Mark…” 

“I’m such an asshole, god. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that to you yesterday. I was just upset and I let it out on you. I really… I’m so sorry, Donghyuck. You don’t have to forgive me, but I just want you to know that.” 

Donghyuck gazes at Mark, who had a sad and drained face placed on him. He could see the guilt that Mark had held in for so long, “Mark. It’s okay. You didn’t know. No one knew.” 

“You mean, no one knows that your parents are fighting?” 

Donghyuck hung his head low, sighing, “I don’t have the heart to tell anyone. I just was so broken so I…” 

“I understand, Hyuck. It’s okay. You…” Mark hesitated, “You can always talk to me.” 

“You mean that?” 

“Yes.”

Donghyuck smiled, his heart feeling at ease, “Thank you.” 

Mark laughed, “Don’t think this means that I forgive you for stealing my gingerbread man.” 

Donghyuck let out a giggle, “Oh definitely. I won’t ever forgive you for placing a big wad of gum in my hair.” 

“It was seven pieces.” 

“Seven pieces!” 

Mark proudly smiled, “My best yet.” 

“Wait, Mark, why were you upset?” 

“Huh? Oh,” Mark let out an exhausted laugh, “Because you found your soulmate already and I’ve been trying to figure out who mine is for a year.” 

“You mean, you haven’t… found your soulmate?” 

“No, I have no idea who they are.” 

Donghyuck’s gaze lowered to the ground, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I’m glad you found your soulmate, Hyuck. I was just being petty is all. You really do deserve to be with your soulmate.” 

Donghyuck smiled at Mark, “So do you, Mark."

 

* * *

 

Jeno and Jaemin looked at Mark, frowning. Mark had been crying for what seemed like forever, “You guys, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry I said all those things to Donghyuck. I’m sorry I said those things to you and Jeno. And I’m sorry for pushing you two away. You are both the only ones who have stuck by me through it all, and I’ve just been so rude. All of this soulmate stuff is draining me. I didn’t mean it. I don’t even feel like I deserve you two. I’m so sorry.” 

Jeno and Jaemin sat next to Mark, placing him in the middle. They wrapped their arms around him, Jaemin slightly laughing, “You big doofus, you know we just want the best for you. No matter what, we’re going to always be here for you. We love you, Mark.” 

Jeno chimed in, “Don’t worry, we’ll help you find your soulmate.” 

Mark thankfully smiled at his two best friends, “Thank you, seriously. I can’t thank you enough.” 

Jeno’s smiled faded as he saw a glimpse of Mark’s bare arm, “Mark… your arm. Did you…?” 

Mark pulled his sleeve, seeing the fresh cuts, stuttering, “I relapsed. I’m sorry. I just felt a lot of emotions and I…” 

“It’s okay, Mark. It’s okay."

“I was clean for so long…” 

Jaemin sympathetically smiled, “Well, now, this means that you have another clean streak to beat, and we’ll be there with you every step of the way. I’m sorry that we couldn’t be there for you when you needed us, but we’re with you.” 

“Guys…”

“Yeah?” 

“If… If I become a wither, will you promise me that no matter what I do or say, you won’t leave me.” 

Jaemin and Jeno looked at each other, before Jeno spoke up, “You won’t become a wither. We’ll make sure of it.” 

“But if it does happen… just please, promise me.” 

“We promise.”

 

* * *

 

Lucas, seeing Mark at the end of the street, ran up to him, placing his arms around him, “Hey! Mark! How are you?” 

Mark’s eyes widened, seeing Lucas so close to him, “L-Lucas, hey, I’m okay.” 

“Did you talk to Donghyuck?” 

“Oh! Yeah, I did.” 

“How was it?” 

“It was… good. I think we’re good now.” 

Lucas clapped his hands together, raising his hand in the air, “Aha! I knew you could do it!” 

Mark laughed, giving Lucas a high five, “It was nothing, but thanks for giving me the advice. It really did help.” 

“I’m so glad, I could help.” Lucas looked at the ground before clearing his throat, “Are you doing anything after school?” 

“Me? Uh, I don’t think I have any plans with Jeno or Jaemin. Why?” 

“Come to the cafe with me today, okay? I need to talk to you about something.” 

Mark nodded, smiling, “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

Lucas waited outside Mark’s last class, holding onto the straps of his backpack. He sighed, seeing the class flood out. When he saw Mark, he smiled brightly, “Mark!” 

“Oh, hey! I didn’t know you were waiting for me.” 

“It’s okay. I wasn’t waiting long. Are you ready?” 

Mark nodded, following Lucas out of the crowded school. His heart felt like it was going to burst. He fixed his gaze on the back of Lucas, seeing his wife and proportionate frame. He looked down, unable to hide his smile. Lucas interrupted his thoughts, “Do you want the same thing?” 

“Oh, yeah. Please, thanks.” 

He knew the drill and sat at the same place he always did in the same cafe. He fiddled with his fingers, wondering what Lucas wanted to talk about. Mark saw Lucas approaching the table with the same order, but instead of croissants, it was a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Mark softly smiled as he smelled the fresh cookies, “Thank you. Chocolate chip is my favorite.” 

“Oh good, I was hoping you’d enjoy them.” 

Mark gratefully took the cup into his hands and sighed in relief, “What did you want to talk about today?” 

Lucas sighed, giving a nervous sigh, “Oh, right… How do I say this…” 

Lucas mumbled something before taking a deep breath. He looked at Mark, softly, “Mark, this might sound crazy, but I think you’re my soulmate. I mean, I don’t know, but… I like you. A lot.” 

Mark almost choked on his coffee as Lucas talked, “What?”

Lucas made sure to say his words slower, “I like you, Mark. I like  _ you _ .” 

Mark stared at the other boy across from him, his heart wanting to jump out of his chest. He suddenly had forgotten how to form words and speak, so he sat there, mouth slightly open. Lucas looked down and sighed, “I mean… I get it if you don’t feel the same way. It’s just…” 

“No! No! I mean, I… I like you too.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes…” 

Lucas’ smile spread from ear to ear as he gazed into Mark’s eyes, “I wasn’t expecting this at all.” 

“Wait, but… are we actually soulmates or is this just… something we feel?” 

Lucas frowned a bit, “Does it matter?” 

“Well… I.. I don’t want your soulmate to become a wither because of me. And you know, it might affect my soulmate too…” 

Lucas sighed, gripping the back of his neck, “I know, but… I can't help what I feel for you. It’s just… my feelings are too powerful for you  _ not  _ to be my soulmate.” 

“Lucas, what are your flowers that were assigned to you?” 

“Mm, they’re sunflowers.” 

“What flowers do you have at home?” 

“Roses.” 

Mark shook his head, sadly, “We’re not soulmates, Lucas.” 

“Mark…” 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that to your soulmate.” 

“Mark, wait, please...” 

“I have to go.” 

“Mark!” 

But before Lucas could say anything else, Mark had grabbed his backpack and rushed out of there. He knew that if he stayed in there longer, his heart would’ve gave in. He really did like Lucas, but he knew that if he went any further with him, Lucas’ soulmate would suffer, and they didn’t deserve that. Mark tried to hold back the tears as he walked home, his heart aching in his chest. He wanted to be happy with someone, but he didn’t want to be the cause of someone else’s heartbreak.

When he got home, he felt tired and exhausted from the conversation he had with Lucas and had an urge to breakdown. Once he arrived in his room, he stared at his soulmate’s flower and his heart began to feel different. He noticed his shift in his emotions and felt the anger in his veins. His fists clenched, his breathing was scattered. He took the vase in his hands and threw it against the wall. He cried out as he stared at the amaryllis that were now, complete dead. 

Mark knew that he was a wither.

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck wanted Renjun to go home since they had a long day, but he refused to leave the boy’s side. He clung to his arm, grasping it tightly, “But baby, I miss you so much. Please, let me stay?” 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, unable to deny his cuteness, “Fine, but only for a little bit.” 

Renjun let out a happy laugh as he stared at Donghyuck. He knew that he love the boy, and he was planning to tell him tonight. Ever since middle school, when he saw Donghyuck for the very first time, his heart was attached to the pretty boy. From the moment Renjun shyly introduced himself, he felt the electricity between them. He followed Donghyuck into his room, seeing his flowers placed at his desk. Renjun ran to them, giggling, “My flowers!” 

Donghyuck smiled, leaning against Renjun. He stared at his flowers, dazzling a bright red, “They're beautiful, just like you.” 

Renjun let his head fall back as he turned a light pink, “Oh shut up, if anyone is beautiful, it’s you.” 

Renjun held Donghyuck in his arms as the other boy yawned, “Aw, is my baby tired?” 

Donghyuck nodded, laying his head again Renjun’s chest, “Come cuddle.” 

Renjun smiled, laying next to Donghyuck. His arms were placed around the younger boy as he nuzzled himself into Renjun’s chest. His breathing slowed as he began to feel drowzy. Renjun softly placed his hand against Donghyuck’s cheek, “Hyuck, I need to tell you something.” 

Donghyuck slowly opened his eyes, seeing Renjun’s face inches away from him, “Hm? What is it?”

Renjun sighed, brushing the hair out of Donghyuck’s eyes. He admired Donghyuck as he faintly beamed. His voice was low almost a whisper, “I love you, Donghyuck. I have loved you ever since I first met you; you are the most beautiful boy on this earth and I am so lucky, so proud, to call you mine.”

Donghyuck’s heart was caught in his chest as he snickered lightly, “Renjun, I love you too, more than I could ever express.”

Renjun broke into a giant smile as he held Donghyuck’s face in his hands. He leaned in, slowly, making sure that Donghyuck wanted this too. Donghyuck got the message and filled in the gap, their lips finally meeting. He reached for Renjun as he pulled him closer, wrapping his hands around his neck. Renjun smiled as his hands reached for Donghyuck’s. Pulling away, Donghyuck and Renjun were both a shade of red, a giggling mess. 

“I know I said this before, but I’m so glad you’re my soulmate.”

Donghyuck’s heart was beating forcefully against his chest as he caressed the older boy’s hair, “I am too.” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> — attempted suicide

Mark no longer could love. He stared at his trash can, his soulmate’s dead flowers and their petals crusting over. He couldn’t feel anything for them. He couldn’t feel anything at all. He felt empty and broken. Tears started to fall as he forcibly removed the plastic that held the dead flowers. Mark was tired. It was finally over. He sat in his desk, staring at the empty vase. He pulled a piece of paper from his drawer and started to scribble.

He folded his written words and left it on top of his desk. He saw the mess on his bed and gathered it. His pillows that lied everywhere were placed at the side of his bed. The tangled blanket was folded into a rectangle and placed on top of his pillows. He placed his shoes near the door, making sure they faced him. He pulled his backpack and straightened it, leaning it against his closet. He went into the closet, picking up the clothing on the floor and setting them on hangers.

He looked around, one last time, before entering his bathroom, locking the door behind him. He opened the drawer, seeing the bottle of pills. He unscrewed the top, pouring out the small blue orbs. He stared at himself in the mirror, looking at his complexion. He had lost his color and his face showed it. He had dark circles around his eyes, while his hand shook. He took one last deep breath before downed the pills one by one.

 

* * *

 

Jeno and Jaemin arrived at Mark’s house, concerned that their friend hadn’t answered for hours at a time. They walked up to his room, knocking on the door, “Mark? It’s us, Jeno and Jaemin.”

_Silence._

“Mark, please answer.”

_Silence._

Jeno twisted the doorknob and realized it was open, “Mark?”

Jaemin and Jeno entered the room, seeing that he wasn’t there. Jaemin saw an empty vase and a scribbled folded paper on the desk. He grabbed the note, reading its context.

_If you’re reading this, you’ve probably already found my body… I’m so sorry to whoever has found it first. I just couldn’t go on like this. The pain of being a wither is more than I could handle. I couldn’t go on not loving anyone around me…_

Jaemin stopped reading, his heart quickening. He looked around and saw the bathroom, “Open the bathroom!”

Jeno, confused, tried to open the bathroom door, but noticed it was locked. Jaemin slammed his fists against the door, tears flooding, “Mark! Open this goddamn door!”

Jaemin pushed against it, hoping that it would move, “Fuck!”

Jeno helped him, seeing the note on the floor and Jaemin’s tears. As the pushed against the wood, it finally opened, revealing Mark and his body with the empty pill bottle on the ground, “Mark!? Mark!”

Jeno and Jaemin raced to their lifeless friend. Jaemin held his friend in his arms, crying helplessly, “Come on, Mark! Wake up! Please!”

Jeno pulled his phone out, crying hysterically against it, “H-hello? My f-friend, he.. he tried commit suicide! I-I don’t know how long ago! Just please! Come quickly!”

Sirens came blaring loudly, Jeno and Jaemin were asked to move as they placed Mark on a gurney. The two sobbed, looking at their friend, “Mark, you better not fucking die.”

Jaemin ran his hands through his hair as he looked at Jeno. He gripped his arm as he cried, “I don’t want Mark to die, Jeno. He can’t. He can’t.”

Jeno pulled his friend into a hug, crying into him, “Mark has to come through. He’s not going to go.”

 

* * *

 

Mark sat in a hospital room with gritted teeth and clenched fists.

_Why am I alive!_

His head pounded and he felt his heart was burning. A doctor came in the room, giving Mark a gentle smile, “Mark, you’re finally awake. How are you?”

Mark stared at the doctor. He nodded as he sat down, “It’s okay. I know you’re probably still shaken up from what happened. Do you remember?”

Mark spat, “I tried to kill myself. It didn’t work.”

“Well, you should be thankful your friends found you when they did.”

“My friends?”

The doctor nodded as he looked at Mark, “They saved you.”

“I didn’t want to be saved.”

The doctor frowned, checking his clipboard, “I’ll give you some time to rest, okay?”

As the doctor left, Mark looked at the tubes placed around him. He had no idea what happened in the time where he tried to take his own life to waking up in the hospital. He was angry because he knew this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. The door of his room opened, seeing his grandparents. They started to cry, engulfing their beloved grandson in their arms. He wanted to feel bad, but his heart didn’t feel anything. He stared at them, sadly, as they touched his face.

“Mark, sweetie, we love you so much. Please… don’t ever try to do that again.”

Mark nodded just to nod as they pulled away from their grandson. Just as they left Jeno and Jaemin appeared. He bit his lip, trying not to curse them for saving him, “Mark!”

They raced to him, seeing him alive again. They started to cry, but Mark couldn’t feel any remorse for them. He didn’t regret what he did and he wished they hadn’t done anything. Jeno wiped his tears, “We thought we lost you, Mark.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Huh?”

“You should’ve just let me die.”

“What? Are you serious? No! We weren’t going to let you die, Mark. We wouldn’t be able to live without you. You’re our best friend.”

“It’s not like I care about you anymore.”

Jaemin’s voice softened, “What?”

“I want to be left alone.”

“Mark.. Please talk to us.”

“I don’t want to talk. There's nothing to talk about. I wanted to die and you prevented it.”

“Of course we did, we care about you.”

“Well I don’t care about you!”

The silence grew in the room as Mark’s words lingered, “There’s nothing you could possibly do anymore for me. I don’t love you guys. I don’t care for you two. That’s just how it is. I’m a deadweight. Just leave.”

Jaemin’s eyes lowered as Jeno pulled him back outside. They closed the door behind them as they sighed in defeat, “He really is a wither.”

“Is there any way we can help him?”

“I mean there’s nothing else to do. Withers aren’t supposed to love anymore.”

“But they can, right? Under the circumstance that their real soulmate loves them?”

“Yeah, but we have no idea who Mark’s soulmate is. If we did, we wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place.”

“We have to find Mark’s soulmate. It’s the only thing we can do for him.”

“But how are we going to do that, Jeno?”

“I don’t know, but we’re going to have to try and figure it out ourselves while Mark gets treated. We promised we wouldn’t leave him and we won’t leave him.”

 

* * *

 

Jisung and Chenle leaned against their chairs, whispering to Donghyuck softly, “Where’s Mark?”

Donghyuck looked around the room to see that Mark’s seat was empty, “I.. don’t know.”

“The new kid sitting in the chair next to Mark’s, maybe he knows."

Donghyuck hesitated before standing up to talk to the older boy, “Uh, hi.”

Lucas looked up, seeing a foreign face, “Hello?”

Donghyuck looked at the empty seat beside Lucas and back at the boy, “I’m Donghyuck.”

“Donghyuck?” Lucas crossed his arms as he leaned back, “Mark’s worst enemy.”  
  
Donghyuck’s eyebrows met in confusion, “H-how, how do you know who I am?”

Lucas stared at the empty seat next to him, “I don’t know where he is. I was hoping you’d know.”

Donghyuck stared at the unknown boy’s name as he sighed, “If you find anything out, can you please tell me?”

“For Mark’s worst enemy, you care a lot about him.” Donghyuck began to walk away, “I’m Lucas.”

He looked back, nodding, “Nice to meet you.”

 

* * *

 

During lunch, Donghyuck stayed at Jeno and Jaemin’s table, anxiously waiting for them. He wanted to know what had happened to Mark. He felt his stomach churn as he thought of Mark. He knew something had happened, but he didn’t know what it was. Jeno approached the table first, confused as to why Donghyuck had taken their place, “Donghyuck?”  
  
“Jeno, hey.”

“Uh, you do know this is where we sit?”  
  
“What happened to Mark?”

Jeno’s faced drained at the sound of his friend’s name. He placed his tray carefully on the table and sighed, “I don’t think I should be telling you.”

“Please, Jeno.”

Jaemin cleared his throat as he sat down, “Hey, Donghyuck.”  
  
“What happened to Mark, please tell me. I feel like something bad happened.”

Jaemin looked at Jeno as they exchanged sad looks, “Promise not to tell anyone?”

“I promise.”

Jeno looked down at his food, taking a deep breath before looking into Donghyuck’s eyes, “Mark tried to kill himself.”

Donghyuck’s heart dropped to his stomach as his voice cracked, “W-what?”

Jaemin’s eyes couldn’t meet Donghyuck, “We found him in his bathroom… lifeless…”

Donghyuck’s eyes began to water, “I-Is he…?”

“He’s in the hospital right now.”

“What happened?! Why did he try to take his own life?!”

Jeno and Jaemin scolded him, “Don’t raise your voice! We are the only ones that know!”

“Why did he do it!”

“I think we already shared too much…”

Donghyuck felt his heart stuck in his throat as he got up. He rushed out of the cafeteria into the hallways, leaning against the lockers. His chest tightened as he gripped his thighs. He began to claw his jeans as he sobbed into himself, “Donghyuck?”

Renjun, Jisung, and Chenle followed Donghyuck out as he saw him run out. He curled into a ball, breaking down, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Renjun tried to console him, but Donghyuck couldn’t stop crying. He pulled him into a hug, lightly hushing the younger boy, “Baby, what happened?”

“M-mark…”

“What? What about Mark?”

Jisung and Chenle stood at the side of Donghyuck crying, “H-he.. hurt himself… and I didn’t do anything.”

Jisung and Chenle exchanged looks, “He hurt himself?”

Donghyuck couldn’t stop his tears from falling. He wailed into Renjun as he thought about losing Mark. He couldn’t stand the fact that he wasn’t able to help Mark the way he was able to help him that other night. He didn’t want Mark to feel the way he felt. He didn’t want Mark to kill himself. He didn’t want Mark to feel the pain he had been hiding away from. Why did he do it? Why didn’t he call him? Why didn’t call on Jeno or Jaemin? Why did he suffer alone? Did he always feel this way?

**_Mark, you shouldn’t have endured it alone..._ **

 

* * *

 

Jeno roamed around the library after school trying to find a place to sit. He went through aisles of books before seeing an open seat near the exit. I pulled back the chair, laying his stuff gently down. As he opened his backpack, he saw Renjun get up and leave. As Renjun scattered his things to get up and leave, he dropped a small notepad. Jeno saw the book fall from the things and went to go pick it up, “Renjun!"

But Renjun had left already, leaving Jeno with his worn out notes, “I guess I’ll just give it back to him when I see him.”

Taking his seat back, he tossed the little booklet on the table, but the pages opened from the throw. Jeno hovered his hand over the notebook to close it, but he noticed that Mark’s name had been written on the inside of the page. Bewildered, Jeno took a closer look at the page that had suddenly appeared to him.

 _Mark_ _→_ _Hyuck’s soulmate_

 _Hyuck_ _→ Mark’s soulmate_

_Mark’s flower → Hydrangeas_

_Hyuck’s flower → Amaryllis_

Jeno’s eyes widen as he read the rest of the information written on the page. It had endless notes about Mark and Donghyuck. Renjun made it a mission to steal Donghyuck from Mark all along. Jeno closed his book and stuffed it into his bag, taking the small notebook with him. As he exited the building, he dialed Jaemin’s number.

“Hello?”

“Jaemin, I figured out who Mark’s soulmate is.”

“What? How did you do that?”

“Come by the library, I need to show it to you.”

Jaemin stared at the pages of Renjun’s notebook, “You mean, Renjun planned all this out?”

Jeno nodded, “It seems like it.”

“How did he even get this information?”

“I don’t know, but we need to tell Donghyuck that Mark became a wither because of Renjun.”

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck had been at the cafe down the street from his school to decompress the pass events. He didn’t want to think about Mark, but he couldn’t help but worry about the boy. He held his straw between his teeth as he unlocked his phone. He saw a new message from an unknown number.

 

> _Is this Donghyuck?_ _  
>  _ _  
>  _ **_Yes. Who is this?_ **
> 
> _It’s Jaemin, I got your number from Mark’s phone._
> 
> **_Jaemin? Is everything okay?_ **
> 
> _I need you to meet Jeno and I outside the library of our school._
> 
> **_Did something happen?_ **
> 
> _It’s better if we tell you in person._

Donghyuck scratched his head as he picked up his backpack from the ground. He placed his phone in his pocket, throwing the remains of his drink the trash bin. He made his way to the front of the library, seeing Jeno and Jaemin sitting near the entrance.

Donghyuck ran to them, “Hey, is this about Mark?”

Jeno sighed, “Sort of. It’s more about Renjun though.”

“Renjun?”

Jeno showed Donghyuck the notebook, “Open it.”

Donghyuck glanced between the two boys and the notebook. As he opened the pages, he saw that the person wrote inside his and Mark’s name, “W-what is… this?”

“Renjun dropped it in the library.”

“This… this can’t be true…”

“Donghyuck, the reason why Mark took his life is because he became a wither.” Jaemin pulled a piece of crumpled paper out of his backpack, “This is his note.”

Donghyuck snatched it from Jaemin, reading the contents. His eyes began to fill with tears as his throat grew a lump, “No… no… no…”

“Donghyuck, we’re sorry you had to find out like this.”

“I’m… I’m the reason Mark killed himself.”

“No, no, you aren’t, Hyuck. Don’t say that. You didn’t know.”

“But I did this! I fell for someone who wasn’t my soulmate! I made Mark suffer!”

Jeno pulled Donghyuck, making him look into his eyes, “Listen to me, Hyuck. You did nothing wrong. If anyone should be blamed, it’s Renjun. You still can save Mark.”

“I can?”

“Yes.”

“H-how?”  
  
“A wither can love again if their soulmate is able to love them.”

“I can save Mark…”

“Yes, but you have to make him love you.”

“I don’t… I don’t know if I can.”

“Of course you can, you’re his soulmate.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! First off, I would like to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who has read my story so far! I get so happy reading everyone's comments and I'm so glad everyone is enjoying it! Thank you also for the 1000+ hits and 100+ kudos~ It made me really really really happy to see that! All the love! Enjoy! <3

Donghyuck had called Renjun after talking to Jeno and Jaemin earlier that day. He sat rigidly and uncomfortable against a park bench near school waiting for his arrival. Donghyuck felt his heart clench as he saw Renjun smiling at him. He stared back at Renjun as he forced the tears not to slip from his eyes, “What is this?” 

Renjun looked at the boy, gripping his brown notebook in his hand. He had been looking for it the whole afternoon, hoping that it didn’t end up in the wrong hands, “Baby-”

Donghyuck grit his teeth, “Don’t you dare call me baby.” 

“Hyuck… where did you find that?”

“Jeno said  _ you _ dropped it at the library.”

Renjun sighed deeply, “Let me explain… please…”

Donghyuck opened the pages, ripping them out and shoving them towards Renjun, tears now streaming, “Explain! Explain what! That you sabotaged Mark’s life! That you made me love you when you knew you were making Mark a wither!”

Renjun let Donghyuck’s fists hit his chest, his eyes swelling with tears, “Hyuck, please, I-I… I love you.”

Donghyuck glared at Renjun, his eyes burning through Renjun, “No! No, you don’t  _ love _ me! If you loved me, if you even remotely cared for me, you wouldn’t have done this!”

Renjun, speechless, attempted to take Donghyuck’s hand, but he harshly pulled away, “Don’t touch me, Renjun. This is really low. Why did you even… How did you know?”

Renjun looked at the ground, realizing that no matter what he would say, Donghyuck would still shout at him, “I’m sorry, Hyuck. I really am.”

“You’re not sorry, Renjun.” Donghyuck threw the booklet at Renjun, “How did you know?”

Renjun swallowed hard, running his hand through his hair, “My dad… he works with the association that pairs soulmates. He has the whole list of people and their flowers… I went on his laptop one night and I saw you with Mark’s name assigned…”

“Are you serious, Renjun! Why would you do this!”

“Because Hyuck! I hate Mark!” 

Donghyuck’s voice cracked, looking at the frustrated boy, “What?”

“You think I don’t know? You think I don’t understand? I’ve knew since the moment I met you, Hyuck.”   
  
“What are you talking about!”

“You and Mark!”

“There was nothing between us!”

Renjun let out a laugh, “Please!” He shook his head, “Damn it, Hyuck! Don’t you remember?”

Donghyuck shook his head, unable to comprehend what Renjun was saying.

_ Renjun had sat next to the cutest boy in the world. He smiled as the bright boy grinned back at him. Jisung, Chenle, Donghyuck, and Renjun were all having lunch together when a group of kids passed Donghyuck’s table. Each one of them, snickered as the last boy poured milk over Donghyuck’s head. Renjun gasped, seeing Donghyuck drenched in milk. Jisung and Chenle tried their best to help their friend, but Donghyuck, unable to fight his tears, ran out of the cafeteria. Renjun stood up to scold the group of boys, but Mark had already shoved them to the ground. _

_ He saw Mark’s aggression toward them as he clawed at them, beating his fists into them, “Don’t touch Donghyuck! Do you hear me!” _

_ Renjun stared at Mark as he punched them with force. A teacher had to come to pry them off as Mark’s body lunged at them. Renjun made eye contact with Mark as he scowled. He suddenly panicked seeing that everyone saw Mark attacking the other boy. He angrily stormed out of the hallway, making his way to the principal’s office. Renjun raced after him, “Hey!” _

_ Mark turned around, seeing Renjun, “Hm?” _ __  
_  
_ __ “Why’d you do that?”

_ Mark snickered, looking at his knuckles covered in blood, “No one is allowed to pick on Hyuck, except for me.”  _

_ Renjun stood in the hallway, taking in Mark’s words. _

_ Mark loved Hyuck. _

Donghyuck stared at Renjun, “What? But Mark told me…”

“That it was just another stupid fight? No, Hyuck, it was because of that kid who poured milk on your head.” Renjun was furious, clutching his worn booklet in his hands, “Ever since then I hated him for loving you in the way I couldn't. Then when I found out that he was your actual soulmate, I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to make you mine, no matter what the consequences were.”

Donghyuck stayed silent as he grazed over Renjun, “I can’t believe you.”

Renjun laughed and slightly sighed, looking at the ground, “I guess, I deserve to be a wither now.”

Donghyuck shook his head, “No matter how terrible this was, you don’t deserve that pain. Being unable to love anyone? No one deserves that.” 

Renjun looked up at Donghyuck, his sad eyes glistening, “Go to him.”

“What?”

“Go to Mark. Tell him you love him.”

“What?”   


Renjun ran his hands through his hair, “Save your soulmate.”

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck’s lungs were burning by the time he got to the hospital. He looked back and forth for the room that Mark was being held in. As he got to the room, he slowed down while his heart raced. He read the card in the front of the room, whispering, “Mark Lee.”

He peeked through the small window, seeing Mark asleep. Donghyuck sighed, opening the door. He sluggishly walked toward the other boy. He had tubes attached to him as his chest rose and fell with every breath he took. Donghyuck felt his eyes tear up as he saw Mark on the hospital bed, he covered his mouth, “I’m so sorry, Mark.”

Mark shuffled, his eyes opening carefully. Donghyuck croaked, “Mark?”

Mark, still half asleep, stared at Donghyuck, “...Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck couldn’t control himself, he launched himself into Mark’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

But as Donghyuck engulfed himself into the boy, Mark shoved him. Disoriented, Donghyuck looked at Mark with concerned, “Mark?”   
  
“What the fuck are you doing?”

Donghyuck flinched at Mark’s words, “W-what?”

“Who told you I was here?”

“I… Jeno did. Jeno told me.”

He rolled his eyes at the sound of Jeno’s name. Under his breath, he spoke, “That bastard.”

“Mark, I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want to see you.”

“What?”

“Get the fuck out of here, Donghyuck.”   
  
“But.. I..”

“Do I have to spell it out for you? I don’t want you to be here.”

“Mark…”

“Get out! I’m going to call security if you don’t.” Donghyuck’s heart fell as he watched Mark stare outside of his window, “What are you still doing here? Leave!”

Donghyuck forced his legs to move, exiting Mark’s room. He shut the door on his way out as tears began to fall. He leaned his back against the wall, sliding down. He curled into himself, wailing. Donghyuck didn’t know his heart could hurt as much as it did. He felt like it was being stabbed repeatedly and endlessly with no mercy. He wanted it to stop hurting, but he didn’t know how to. He gripped his hair into his hands, regretting everything. He wished he would’ve been smarter about his choices. He wished he had paid more attention to Mark. He wished he could turn the clock back and fix everything.

 

* * *

Donghyuck had spent the whole night in tears. He stared at his soulmate’s flowers that were now meaningless. Once your soulmate becomes a wither, the flowers that were assigned to them just become ordinary flowers at a state of a random color. Donghyuck had mentally beat himself up for not realizing that the flowers were a permanent color. He had fell for Renjun’s plan and coincidences. Angry, Donghyuck slammed the vase and flowers onto the ground, screaming his lungs out. He cried beside the hydrangeas, “Mark… I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry I let you down…” 

Donghyuck was defeated; he felt an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. Mark was a wither and no matter what he did, Mark would push him away. He wanted to hold Mark in his arms and tell him he was going to be there for him. He wanted to tell Mark that he loved him and that he was always going to. He wanted to apologize to Mark for being so foolish. He just wanted his soulmate to be loved in the way he deserves. Mark had suffered so long and endured a tremendous amount of pain, just to pile on the weight of being a wither.

Donghyuck weeped against his desk and held the hydrangeas close to his chest, “Mark, I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back to normal.” 

He got up and pulled his chair out from his desk. Taking the hydrangeas, he placed them beside him as he pulled a piece of paper out.

 

**_Mark,_ **

**_It’s Donghyuck. Your soulmate._ **

**_Your flowers are now just ordinary hydrangeas, but they remind me of you, so I’ll keep them near me. They’re actually sitting on my desk as I write this._ **

**_I don’t know where to start, but I want to apologize for being so naive and careless. If it wasn’t for my actions, you wouldn’t have became a wither. There’s nothing I can do to remove the pain I caused, so now, I have to make up for all the lost time. And since our communication is limited, I wanted to write to you. I hope you’ll read these one day._ **

**_Today, I found out from Jeno and Jaemin that Renjun had planned out this along; for me to fall for him and for you to become a wither. Unbelievable, right? He also told me about that time in middle school when those boys poured milk over my head, you were the one that beat them up when you told me it was just careless fight. Thank you for having my back, then and now. You seem to always be my guardian angel._ **

**_Oh, I also visited you today at the hospital. It hurt seeing you in a hospital bed so helpless and lonely. It was like my heart was being ripped out all over and over again. I wanted to tell you I love you, I wanted to express how sorry I was, I wanted to hold you, but you pushed me away. But it’s okay… I know you’ve endured a lot and now, it’s my turn._ **

**_I promise that I will love you, now and forever._ **

**_I’m not sure how this will unfold, but I hope your heart will be willing._ **

**_I won’t give up on you, Mark._ **

**_To the ends of the Earth, I will follow you._ **

**_After all, we are soulmates._ **

**_– Your Amaryllis, Hyuck_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGH, I know this chapter was shorter than the others! I'm sorry, but my brain was slowing down! I hope everyone still enjoyed the chapter regardless. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> — self harm

Donghyuck held the plastic bag in his hand and a bouquet of amaryllis in the other. He had woke up extra early so he could cook Mark some soup and stop by the flower shop to drop them by the hospital just before school. He had a smile on his face, knowing that Mark loved warm soup when he wasn’t feeling well. He wanted to make sure that even if he couldn’t make Mark feel better with his presence, he could do it with small gestures. He entered the hospital building and rushed to the elevator. Pressing the fourth floor, he gently smelled the amaryllis and gave them a grin, “Make sure you look out for Mark while I’m in school.”

As Donghyuck left the elevator, he saw the nurse stationed at the reception desk, “Good morning.”  
  
“Hello, how may I help you?”

“Um, I made this soup and brought flowers for Mark, Mark Lee. Could you could just give them to him when he wakes up?”

The nurse smiled, taking the flowers and plastic bag, “Sure thing. I’ll tell him you stopped by, what was your name?”

“Donghyuck.”

 

* * *

 

Mark had woken up around noon, shuffling around in his bed. His hair was brushed up and messy as he yawned. He stretched, seeing he had a batch of flowers at his bedside, “Amaryllis?”

His head tilted, seeing their bright blue color. He leaned into them, inhaling their scent. He checked the flowers for a name tag, but he failed to find it. Intently drawn to the flowers, his nurse had appeared, “Good afternoon, Mark.”

“Afternoon.”

“I need to take your vitals.”  
  
Mark nodded, still staring at his flowers, “Those came in today.”

“Huh? From who?”

“Mm, I think his name was Donghyuck? He came in pretty earlier to drop those off. He also prepared some soup for you to eat.”

Mark slightly frowned as she said Donghyuck’s name, “Donghyuck?”

“Is he a friend of yours?”

He scoffed as the pressure of the cuff tightened around him, “Sure.”

As the nurse jotted down Mark’s vital information, she smiled, “I’ll go warm up the soup for you.”

Before Mark could protest, she was already out of the room, pulling the machine with her. Mark glanced at the flowers, grimacing. He had remembered placing his own amaryllis in the trash can. _Wait_. Mark straightened himself, trying to connect the dots.

_Donghyuck was the one who dropped these amaryllis, but why amaryllis? Those are my soulmate’s flowers._

Mark’s mind raced as his nurse came in with a piping hot bowl of soup. She pulled out the table in front of him and placed the tray in front of him, “Enjoy.”

Mark looked down at his steamy soup and took the spoon in his hand. He leaned in, smelling the strong aroma of the warm soup and sighed. Dipping his spoon into the soup, he blew carefully, sipping it. His lips pressed together as he let the flavors dance around his mouth. He smirked, pursing his lips, “This isn’t half bad…”

As he finished his soup, he placed the spoon on the tray, shaking his head. He looked back at the amaryllis and suddenly felt the urge to knock over the vase. He was instantly enraged like a fire was lit in his heart. He didn’t understand why, if Donghyuck was his soulmate, he had waited all this time to finally show up _after_ he had become a wither. It was pointless now. He swallowed hard, remembering that he couldn’t feel any love for his soulmate, or anyone, for that matter. Without thinking, Mark swiped his arm against his table, making the contents, drop to the ground. He started to cry, swamped with frustration, as the nurse came rushing in, “What happened! Are you okay?!”

But Mark said nothing as the nurse began to pick up his things, “Mark.”

“I want to be left alone.”

“Mark, you promised the doctor you’d make some progress.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Mark.”

“Sorry.” Mark sighed, “Just please.”

The nurse sympathetically stared at the devastated boy, “I’ll be back to check on you.”

“Ren,” Mark softly called the nurse, “Can you do me a favor?”

The nurse nodded hearing Mark, “If Donghyuck comes to see me, can you tell him I don’t want to see him.”

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck rapidly tapped his pencil against his desk as he watched the clock. He had been waiting for the school day to end so he could go and see Mark, but it seemed to drag out more than usual. As the bell rang, Donghyuck dumped his books into his bag and slung his backpack over him. Chenle gave him a smile, seeing him so quick, “Seeing Mark, I assume?”

Donghyuck nodded, his grin growing, “Yeah… hopefully he liked the soup I made him today.”

Jisung and Chenle waved as Donghyuck left, “Good luck!”

Donghyuck arrived at his locker, trying to quickly place his books inside, but Renjun appeared by his locker, “Uh, hi.. Donghyuck.”

Exhaling his breath, Donghyuck closed his locker, “Renjun.”

“How’s Mark?”

Donghyuck faced Renjun, glowering at him, “He’s miserable and he hates me.”

Renjun looked at the floor, “Hyuck…”

“Look, I need to go. I need to see Mark.”

“Are you really going to try and make him love you?”

“If it brings Mark back, then yes.”

With that, Donghyuck showed Renjun his back as he exited the building. After a few blocks of breathless walking, he made his way into the hospital, tracing his steps as he did in the morning. His heart bashed against his chest as the elevator door opened. He looked around, seeing that the hospital floor was vacant, “Donghyuck?”

The call of his name got his attention as he saw the nurse looking at him, “You’re Donghyuck, right? The one from the morning?”

Donghyuck nodded, quietly speaking, “I’m here to see Mark…”

Her smile was sad as she stared at the boy, “Donghyuck, I’m sorry, but Mark doesn’t want to see you.”

He stared mindlessly at the nurse, “What?”

“There was an incident earlier… He told me that if you came by to not let you see him.”

Donghyuck stood in the hospital, hearing the mumbles of the rooms and the beeping of machines, “I don’t understand.”

“I hope you can understand Mark’s wishes in this difficult time.”

Donghyuck dipped his head, looking in the direction of Mark’s room. He gave the nurse a glum smile, making his way back to the elevators. The ding of the elevator broke his thoughts as he entered, feeling his heart break shatter. He stared at the floor, trying not to yell with disappointment. Doors opening, Donghyuck dragged his body out. He walked to the patio of the hospital, attempting to regain himself. As he sat down, he saw Mark in a white gown, sitting outside, “Mark?”

Mark looked up, seeing Donghyuck, and struck him with annoyance, “For crying out loud,” He groaned, “I told my nurse I didn’t want to see you.”

“I know… she, uh, she didn’t tell me you were here. I thought you were in your room.”

“Then why are you in front of me right now?”

“Mark, please, I just want to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Mark suppressed a laugh, “Are you kidding, Donghyuck? You were the one who sent me the amaryllis, correct?”

Donghyuck nodded, his heart clenching. Mark bore his eyes into Donghyuck, “You’re my soulmate, aren’t you?”

Hesitantly, Donghyuck replied, “Yes.”

“So, you did this to me.”

“Mark, I can explain.”

“Explain?” Mark’s expression grew with anger, stepping into Donghyuck, “There’s nothing to explain, Donghyuck. You made me a wither. I _never_ can love someone who made me a wither.”

“Mark…” Donghyuck’s eyes teared up as Mark got up.

“Don’t bother coming around anymore. They’re going to transfer me to another hospital.”

“Another hospital?”

“Yeah, a psychiatric one, since I tried to kill myself.”

Donghyuck flinched at the words. Mark turned to him, taking one last look, “Even if you do find out the hospital, I’ll have you as people I don’t want to see, so don’t even try.”

As the older boy left, Donghyuck stood in the middle of the patio, the center of his heart bursting. He felt exhausted, collapsing into the floor, whimpering alone. He felt his upper body constrict, letting his tears cascade on his cheeks. He wanted to shout at the top of his lungs. He was upset, the anger in cased in himself. He regretted giving his soulmate this life. He never thought that something could hurt him so devilishly. But Donghyuck knew, he knew that he deserved every ounce of suffering that was being inflicted on him for being so dimwitted. He sniffed by himself as he heard footsteps approaching.

“Hyuck?” He looked up seeing Jeno and Jaemin with a small plastic bag, “What are you doing? Are you okay?”

He broke down even more, seeing the two closest friends of Mark, “Mark… Mark hates me, there’s no way I can make him love me. He knows I’m his soulmate and he despises me for making him a wither.”

Jeno leveled himself to Donghyuck, “Hyuck, it’s okay. No one said this would be easy. We all knew he was going to backlash like this… especially since he’s a wither. Please, don’t give up on Mark…”

Donghyuck wiped his damp eyes as he looked at Jeno and Jaemin, “I’m not going to give up, but it just hurts so much.”

Jeno helped Donghyuck up as he pulled him into a hug, “I know, it’s okay, we’re here for you.”

Jaemin joined the boys in their hug as he patted Donghyuck’s back, “Mark will come through, don’t worry.”

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck had arrived home, just as his parents did. He grunted softly hearing their shouts again. He didn’t want to deal with them, at least, not right now. But it was as if the universe was against him that his mother appeared in front of him, “Donghyuck.”

“Hm?”

“Where were you?”

“I was out.”

“Don’t give me that.”

“Give you what?” Donghyuck raised his voice, eyeing his mom.

His mother growled, “Talking back now, are we?”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, “Just go keep arguing with dad.”

“Excuse me?”

Donghyuck clenched his teeth, turning to his mom, “That’s all you ever do! Fight with dad! You never ask how I’m doing or if I’m okay! You both are at each other’s throats all the time and forget I even exist! And when you do acknowledge me, you want to shout at me for my grades or being disrespectful, but have you ever thought once about how I feel?!”

His mother stared at him with dismay, “Go to your room.”

“Gladly!”

Donghyuck marched upstairs, slamming the door behind him. He had enough. From being the cause of his soulmate pain to undergoing his own depression, he didn’t know what to do. He saw his bathroom door open and launched himself inside. He weeped persistently, throwing his hands into his cabinet. He had been on a streak of being weeks clean, but the weight of the feeling was gnawing at him. He trembled, eyes on his razor. He took it in his hands as he felt himself close off. He no longer cared anymore. He placed the blade against his arm, jerking slightly at the pain. He bawled, dropping the bloody razor on the ground. Running the water, he placed his arm underneath it, cleaning his wounds. The bathroom was a mess as he ran his body against the wall, slipping on the ground. He sat on the cold ground, not knowing what else to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am sorry for the short chapter :( ! I promise that the next ones will be more interesting and longer. These were kind of just fillers but I hope you enjoyed them! Thank you all for the support and love. <3


	10. Chapter 10

Mark had been out of the hospital for a few days. He had left the house every night to go find someone to carelessly throw himself at. He wanted to connect with someone even if it was fake. He had gone into a club with loud music, bright lights, and sweating bodies up against each other. He straightened out his jacket as he leaned against the wall of the booming room. He scanned the room, attempting to find anyone that seem desperate enough to get with. He saw a petite girl with long black hair, staring at him from across the room with a bunch of her girl friends. She smirked as she downed her drink, strutting towards him. 

Mark gave her a smile as she arrived, “Hey.”

“Hey there, I saw you from where I was standing. Do you want to dance?”

Mark nodded as she grabbed his hand, leading him to the dance floor. Their bodies moved to the beat, his hands on her hips and her body against his. She leaned against him, turning around and tangling her arms with his. Mark smelled the faint alcohol on her breath as she got closer to him. His hands found the back of her neck as he pulled her closer to him. Leaning in, they connected. Their lips dancing along with the music blasting. As he pulled away, he raised his head, making eye contact with a familiar face.

_ Donghyuck? _

Mark thought his eyes were playing tricks on him as he gently rubbed them to clear his vision. Donghyuck had saw everything, and raced out of the loud, blaring club. Mark, without thinking, had left the girl on her own and chased after Donghyuck. He had no idea why his legs were moving on his own, but he didn’t want Donghyuck to leave. As the cool air of the night captured him, he saw Donghyuck at the side of the street, his body hunched. 

“Hyuck?”

He spun around seeing Mark, enraged, “You fucking asshole.”

“Hyuck, what are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? What are you doing here!” 

“I just thought I would have some fun.”   
  
“Fun? By sucking another girl’s face off?”

Mark shook his head, confused, “I don’t get it.”

“Don’t get it? Mark, for fuck sake, I’m your soulmate!”

“I’m a wither…”

“And that gives you the right to just be with whoever you want?”

“No, but-”

“But what, Mark? Don’t you know how much it hurts? Seeing you with another person? Yeah, you can’t love but I still can! And I’m in love with you!”

“Hyuck… I-”

“Just save it.”

Donghyuck turned to leave, but Mark held onto his wrist, “Hyuck, please.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re sorry!”

“Yes! I am! Because I can’t feel anything for you! That’s why I’m over here throwing myself at strangers to feel something! Anything! Besides, Hyuck, you’re the one who made me this way.”

“So it’s my fault!”

“Well, who else would it be! You were falling in love with Renjun while I suffered!”

“I know that, Mark! But it was Renjun’s idea! He made this mess up! He made me fall for him, thinking that he was my soulmate when in reality it was you! And I didn’t know! For crying out loud, that’s why I’m trying to fix it! I’ve been endlessly trying since you were in the hospital, but you’re here making out with random people!”

“Renjun? What do you mean it was Renjun’s idea?”

Donghyuck grunted, “I’m tired, I want to go home.”

“Let me take you home.”

“No. I don’t want to be near you.”

“It’s late, Hyuck.”

“I don’t care.”   


“Then can you call Jisung or Chenle to pick you up?”

“Maybe, I’ll just call Renjun.”

“What?”

“I’ll call Renjun to pick me up.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Why not?”

Mark and Donghyuck stared at each other, the tension between them growing, “Don’t call Renjun.”

“Why!”

“You just said that he was at fault for messing our relationship up!” 

“Well, look at what you’re doing!”

Mark ran his hand across his face, “Do you think this is my fault? I can’t do anything!”

“Let me love you then! Stop pushing me away!”

“What?”

“Let me in, Mark.” Donghyuck stepped closer to Mark, “Let me love you. Let yourself fall.”

Mark was quite startled at the sudden contact, he felt everything stop. He let Donghyuck lean against him, his body engulfing him. Donghyuck let his hands wrap around Mark, sighing into him, “Let me in… please.” 

Mark pulled away, lightly, looking into Donghyuck’s dark brown eyes, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“I’ll try my best to let you in.” Mark sighed, tucking his hands into his pockets “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For saying all those things to you before.”   
  
“I know, Mark. It’s okay. There’s a lot going on for you right now.”

“It’s going to be hard, you know, making me fall in love with you.” 

Donghyuck snickered, “Who said I wasn’t up for the challenge?”

 

* * *

Donghyuck had spent the whole week in hoodies and jeans, not caring about his appearance. He knew this was around the time that Mark would go back to school, but his heart seized at the thought of Mark. After few nights ago, he didn’t know what to expect from the other boy. He had pulled his sleeves down to make sure that his cuts wouldn’t show. No one knew that he had been hurting himself for the past several weeks, and he wasn’t planning to let anyone know. He got into his first period class, sitting in his chair. Chenle turned to face him, “Hey, Hyuck, you okay?"

Donghyuck nodded as he crossed his arms, his train of thought losing concentration. Jisung followed Chenle, “You don’t seem like yourself.”

The other boy stared at them, unable to find the right words, “I’m fine.”

But the two of them knew that Donghyuck was far from fine. Mark had entered the room, making the classroom fall silent. No one knew the real reason that Mark had been absent for so long except for the small circle of Donghyuck and the others. Donghyuck frowned, not knowing whether or not to look at him. He decided to get his books out of his bag, Mark passing him to go to his seat. Donghyuck made it a point not to cry in front of Mark or anyone at school. If he was going to cry, he had to be secluded. Fiddling with his pen, the bell rang loudly in Donghyuck’s ears. He let out a sigh, trying to not think about everything crashing down on him. 

By the end of the period, Donghyuck had already packed and rushed out of the room and into the bathroom. His heart raced with each minute that passed; he felt like his heart was going to explode from the anxiety. His mind kept ruminating over his future, his family, Mark; everything was beginning to feel like a huge weight. As he pulled his sleeves up to wash his hands, Mark had opened the bathroom door. They stood in silence, staring at one another before briefly going back to what they were doing. Donghyuck attempted to wash his hands as he heard the toilet flush. His hands reached for the paper towels, pulling his sweater sleeves down before Mark could see.

“Your arm.”

Donghyuck surprised that Mark noticed, looked at the older boy washing his hands, “W-what?”

“Your arm.”

“What.. what about my arm?”

“Let me see it.”

“What? Why?”

“When do you ever wear sweaters?”

“I always wear sweaters.”

“Donghyuck, show me your goddamn arms.”

Donghyuck stared at Mark as he turned to him. Mark gripped Donghyuck’s sleeve, pulling them up, “Donghyuck. What is this?”

Donghyuck, ashamed, pulled his arm away from Mark, tugging at his sleeve, “I’m sorry.”

Mark glanced at Donghyuck, sighing, “Did your parents fight again? Is that why?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I saw your cuts from where I was sitting, your sleeve was up.” Mark ran his hands through his hair.

“I was just really frustrated about you and my parents kept fighting and they were shouting at me… I didn’t know what else to do.” 

“My mom used to beat me.” 

Donghyuck snapped his head toward Mark, “W-what?” 

“That’s why I moved with my grandparents.” 

“Mark…”

“That’s why I got really defensive when I saw your arm all blotchy last time. I thought your cuts were from your dad, but taking a close look, they’re not.” 

“Mark, I’m sorry.” 

“Please don’t hurt yourself, Hyuck. Please. If you feel that way, call me, okay?” 

Donghyuck nodded, looking at Mark, “Okay…” 

“You promise?” 

“I promise.”

 

* * *

Mark had entered the small cafe, peeking to see if his usual spot was taken. He smiled, seeing it vacant as he approached the cash register. As he stood behind the counter, Lucas was distracted, “Hello, how may I help you?”

Lucas looked up, seeing Mark, and brightened up, “Mark! I didn’t see you come in. How are you?”

Mark was hoping that if he saw Lucas, it would make him feel something, anything, but it was the same. He still felt emotionless. He forced a smile, “I’m doing okay, how are you?”

Lucas looked down, laughing, “Well, you know, I’m not too hot right now, but I’m doing better.” He snapped his fingers, “Oh! Right! Where were you? You weren’t at school for a while?”

“Oh? Uh, I was out sick. I had a really bad flu, kept me in bed for days.”

Lucas frowned, “Aw, man! Really? That’s terrible. Hm, how about I give you something warm to drink?”

Mark thankfully nodded as he pulled out some money. He slid it over the counter, “I’ll be at my usual place.”

Mark plopped in the seat as he reclined his body against the back. He felt his whole body aching as he stretched. He tapped on the wooden table, waiting for Lucas to bring his drink. He mindlessly stared at the placeholder, dwelling. Most of the time, he was angry and frustrated because he could feel anything for anyone. When he wanted to show love and affection to people he cared about, it felt strange; it was as if he had never done it before. He felt empty looking at his grandparents and his friends. He felt lost when he looked at Hyuck, knowing that they were soulmates made it even harder for Mark to accept. He thought the cafe would bring some peace, but he felt an absence. The places he onced cherished were now just memories he couldn’t bring back. 

Lucas appeared with a dazzling smile, placing the cup on the table. He sat in front of Mark, his hands placed on the table, “I met Donghyuck.”

Mark’s eyebrows raised hearing Donghyuck’s name, “When?”

“At school. When you were gone, it seemed like he was looking for you?”

Mark laughed, taking a sip out of the warm cup, “Interesting.”

“It was weird since you guys are enemies, you know?”

Mark looked at Lucas, licking his lips, “About that.”

“Hm?”

“Donghyuck and I, we’re actually soulmates.”

“What?! Soulmates?” Lucas practically jumped out of his seat, “How did you figure that out?”

Mark sighed, “It’s a long story.”

“So then? You guys are together now? Right?”

Mark pressed his lips together, shaking his head, “Not necessarily.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lucas, I’m a wither.”

“W-wither? You’re a w-wither?”

Mark nodded, clicking his tongue, “But Hyuck has been trying to get me to fall for him again?”

“Is it working?”

Mark shrugged, “I can’t tell, I just know that I have to give a little bit of effort if I want to let him in.”

Lucas sighed, his back against the chair. He ran his hands over his hair, trying to think of what to say. Mark as a wither? It was all so confusing. Lucas cleared his throat, “Well, just know that if you need anyone, I’ll be here for you.”

Mark gave Lucas a small smile, taking the cup into his hands again, “Thank you, Lucas. Any leads on your soulmate?”

Lucas shook his head, “Unfortunately, no. I just don’t know who I’m supposed to be looking for.”

Mark let out a laugh, “I was in your position before. Just make sure to keep your eyes open, even for the ones who you think can’t be your soulmate.”

Lucas smiled, getting up from his seat, “Thank you, Mark. I have to go back to work, but I wish you luck with Donghyuck. He seems like he’s a really great person.”

“He is.” 


End file.
